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| "Love Lessons" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: S.D. On: September 25, 2004 08:13 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow Spirit Dragon
| Reviewed By: Zani [MediaMiner Member] On: June 23, 2003 17:18 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
First of all, I really do like this fic but it can use a little work. I beleive it has the potential to be a really great fic. I have a few suggestions that might help. It is at your discretion to use them. I will not be offended if you choose not to:
1) Make 'Kissing Games' a prequel to this fic
2) Lead up to the sex scene. Put a little angst and indecision in both Gohan and Goten.
3) to connect 'Love Lessons' to 'Kissing Games' refer to a budding relationship between Goten and Trunks and also how Gohan helped his brother with his first kiss.
4) Make this fic a continuation. It has tremendous potential and I believe you can bring it out.
I have more specific suggestions that I am willing to share but only if they are wanted. I will send you an email so you may have my address to get my suggestions. Keep writting. You are very good and I plan to read more. | Reviewed By: Bomber Girl [MediaMiner Member] On: April 04, 2003 23:39 CST
Comment/Review:
^_^ mmm yummy, I haven't read a GohanxGoten in sooo long. I really like this one ^_^ |
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