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| "Finding Love in Strange Places" Reviews/Comments [ 7 ] | Reviewed By: Tina On: October 24, 2002 23:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
Hey! I love the idea behind this fic and the direction it's going.
However, there are a LOT of spelling/grammar errors, and some parts that just don't make sense! I'd recommend putting it through spell/grammar check, and then maybe getting a beta-reader, to help you smooth out some of the rougher edges.
Also, I enjoy your lemons (greatly!), but if you made them longer, and added some more foreplay and made it more emotional instead of just physical, then they would be much MORE enjoyable! ^.~ What I'm saying is: instead of just a few drops of lemon juice, why not a whole big glass of lemonade?
Hope to see some nice, big, juicy lemons in the future! (and don't forget about the tails ... you can find so many creative uses for the tails!! Especially now that Bulma has one too! ^.^;;) *drools* | Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2002 00:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've been reading this fic since you posted the first chapter and never left you a review. (Yes, I know, I'm terrible -_-)
Honestly, at times I feel the story is rushed. My advice: DON'T rush the story or the dialogue. Take your time! :)
Yes, you have a lot of spelling/grammar errors but those can be fixed. (I'm not perfect either)
Personally, I like AU's and find them interesting, so you don't have to worry about Vegeta/Bulma or any other character being "Out of Character" beCAUSE it's an AU.
Overall, I like the storyline! (: Ex-King Vegeta being a bastard is a new concept (for me). I have to say, I'm concerned for Bulma and Vegeta's sister's, Samna(?), safety. *sniff sniff*
Well, I say keep writing (there's nothing more fun ;) and I look forward to your next installment. ^_~ | Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2002 00:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've been reading this fic since you posted the first chapter and never left you a review. (Yes, I know, I'm terrible >. | Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: October 23, 2002 00:25 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've been reading this fic since you posted the first chapter and never left you a review. (Yes, I know, I'm terrible >. | Reviewed By: The crazy One [MediaMiner Member] On: October 15, 2002 21:11 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Er nice fic but it could be better. The only mistakes are your grammer and spelling. Although over all it's great! ^_^ | Reviewed By: Lovekittie [MediaMiner Member] On: October 14, 2002 19:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
She becomes a..... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FINISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | Reviewed By: lol On: October 17, 2002 23:24 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
clichéed at best, weak dialogue.
lol at the part about 5" wide, boosting you points in the enjoyment factor.
I haven't read the rest so consider this a review of ch 2 only. |
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