| "Miaka is one of the Celestial descendants?" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] |
Title: it's alright
Reviewed By: Raina [MediaMiner Member] On: October 29, 2003 03:07 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey sorry to tell you but you lack of hentainess. Yo have to explain their actions like this... Aogari pinned light ceres on the bed and start kissing and licking her. Then he took of her clothes gently and removed her panties and starts to kiss her between her tighs... Something like that. but your story is very nice indeed.
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Reviewed By: Suzaku_123 On: March 01, 2003 01:12 CST
Comment/Review:
Oops wrong char to say thanks. |
Reviewed By: SuzakuCombat On: March 01, 2003 01:03 CST
Comment/Review:
Thanks for reviewing.My grammar sux though hehe. |
Reviewed By: reviewer On: February 28, 2003 18:15 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
heys der...yur story is creative but it really lacks something...you should really put your quotes into paragraphs and you should describe the settings because they will help make your story effective. your spelling n grammar wer alright considering that you've had a few errors writing the actions of the people in the story. instead of using stars, you should put the dialogue of the person in quotes, put who the dialogue wuz said by, and THEN describe their actions. it is much easier to visualize what is happening in the story! well i hope you take the advice i gave you because it would help very much in the future! keep up the creative work!! |
Reviewed By: sai-chan On: February 19, 2003 21:24 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think the story was awesome! I would love to read more of your stories! I have an idea! did you ever think about mixing up the story a bit! you know making people go with other people so it's kind of confusing buy exciting at the same time! it's just a thought because maybe more people will be interested! Gomen! |
Reviewed By: Suzaku_123 [MediaMiner Member] On: December 10, 2002 02:50 CST
Comment/Review:
I will add more Hentai when I am free.Cause I am surfing for Fushigi Websites.Gomen! |
