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| "It was sunny" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] | Reviewed By: celia On: May 01, 2004 13:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
::coughcoughHACKHACK:: that was HILARIOUS!! XD ::rofl x10000000:: hahahaha, you must keep updating!
| Reviewed By: lordcloudx [MediaMiner Member] On: November 01, 2003 12:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey this great stuff! It's a very entertaining fic and the atmosphere of the dbz world is really well presented. I think the level of lemon content you used is just right to keep this fic from becoming repulsive. Oh...and this is your fic. You're GOD here, so do as you will. hehehe I believe that you didn't want this fic to sound too serious and the style that you used seems appropriate.
| Title: it was sunny
Reviewed By: x On: October 07, 2003 20:03 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
it was cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
| Title: Trupan
Reviewed By: Trupan [MediaMiner Member] On: October 01, 2003 18:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey I really like this fic so update it asap
| Reviewed By: KaneTheRed On: September 11, 2003 19:13 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this fic! Definitely a fresh break from all the Bulma/Vegeta and Gohan/Videl fics that I've seen around. Just make sure that you keep the lemon scene realistic, detailed, and most important of all, believable. Also, take into consideration Gohan's Saiyajin heritage, both Gohan and Skuld's age, and the different backgrounds that they've come from. Anyway, I really hope you post the next chapter soon, and don't believe what anybody tells you about not being able to fall in love and have sex in under a week, for love and hormones are all-powerful! See ya! | Reviewed By: HardCandyVegetto On: June 12, 2003 17:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
e_gijon...
thanks for the bit of encouragement. I'd like to slow them down, but i think of it as a summer romance... ever been to camp or a summer intensive that lasts a week? Well sometimes, you meet someone that just knocks your socks off and low and behold you're in love... to be honest, i've been in that situation when i was around that age (just a tad older). Keep in mind, (to anoyone else who wants to flame me, not you. you rock) they aren't quite children, aren't quite adults... at that age, you celebrate your first month together like it was ten years. you swear you'll marry this person and you're alrady planning the wedding colors. ^_^ ah memories... anyhow, yeah, to US it's stupid. but that's because we've been there and realize that. when you're there, you're the only one that's right. and i think it's sad too that people forget where they were, and chastise those that are there now, instead of giving them good advise and leaving them to live and learn. in fact, forget the advise.. they wouldn't listen just like we didn't listen. ^_^ | Reviewed By: e_gijon On: June 08, 2003 00:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
There has to be always people or "critics" that have issues when roaming around a FANFICTION site and seen DBZ involved in a story.
It's commmon now days, so don't feel bad about what they say, and think more if the way you are "directing" the characters goes somehow with their usual behavior.
Too much OOC get the reader thinking, "would she/he do that sometime??"
I do believe that your story has evolved a bit quickly, perhaps it could have been advisable to let them known each other a bit more. But fear not, I still hold hope that you will allow them to spent more time after the inminent departure of Skuld.
By the way, it's a bit long since you updated last time... Now would be a good time to do it again, don't you think?? | Reviewed By: Hard Candy Vegetto [MediaMiner Member] On: January 08, 2003 01:12 CST
Comment/Review:
i know i can't spell.... *blushes* i just thought i'd point that out. ^_^ | Reviewed By: Hard Candy Vegetto On: January 08, 2003 01:09 CST
Comment/Review:
Guess what... I'm an animator! ^_^ Not a writer. I never claimed I was any good at story writing. Anyhow as to address OOCness, *shrugs* ah well, I like it this way. And the reason I didn't respond in like to that comment is because I don't see sarcastic comments as constructive criticism. If you don't like the story, do what I do and stop reading it *sighs* and as for "higher" forms of literature, I prefer non-fiction and essays. To be honest, I don't read modern fiction. I read old stuff like H.G.Wells, and Sophocles... not exactly the stuff everybody wants to read. Hell now I’m reading the tale of genji and that was written in 978bc. What I’m getting at is I don't know anything about modern fiction!! As for humor, just because you don't think it's funny doesn't mean it's not funny.
Look, not that saying this will stop people from being rude to me but... hey, you get what you pay for and last time I checked... this was free. Sorry you don't like it but since you aren't paying me for it, I think as long as I eel good about it, that's what matters. | Reviewed By: N_Yah On: January 07, 2003 09:24 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Golly! A DBZ-cross and its a lemon too! Now, why am I not surprised that it's also not very good?
Firstly instead of ragging on 'hhfgshsfghsfg' for not leaving a name, why not listen to his comment? He said you're characters were rampantly OOC and he's right too. Well for the most part anyway, Gohan was slightly believable and if you squinted really hard you can almost believe Skuld would act anything like that.
While its meaningless wheter or not you claim to be a good author, I do hope you plan on following up with your plan to improve yourself if for no other reason than to help stem the glut of pathetic authors. Unfortunatly unless you've been getting a heap of e-mails what i'm seeing of your reviews isn't constructive criticism at all.
I was going to try and provide some but looking at the clock and seeing its 4am I'll just give you with some things to think on and leave the C&C to your 'fans'.
-Its to predictable. If I while reading your story cn stop and in two seconds know almost for certain how the chapter (let alone whole story) is going to go then you know you're in trouble
-You're writing style while not atrocious or even pathetic is somewhat negligent, descriptions and syntax have gone askew on you more than a few times. Read some higher level authors works, look at their style, read books, break out your old College(High School to you Americans :P) english books if your must.
-Ask yourself, do I really want to use Skuld? I mean really, Skuld?
-As much as you may think so, Vegeta would be more likely to not explain things to them by simply not letting them stay.
-As mentioned, OOC is semi-rampant, I personally don't give much about that. Some people however care deeply about keeping it 'cannon' so you may want to rework it rather than loose some potential readers.
-Its rather silly for this to have a comedy tag when its not funny. Not really very good irony either if thats what you were going for. (ie "its funny for a non-funny fic to be labeled comedic" etc)
-It takes more than some smiles and a day or two for people to fall in love.
-Try installing a plot or at least some conflict in there somewhere.
And thats all I can think of right now. Hope it helped at least a little bit.
-N_Yah | Reviewed By: Hard Candy Vegetto On: November 25, 2002 22:06 CST
Comment/Review:
Yeah, I know... well, I never claimed to be a good writer. I hope I get better as I practice on you guys though. I'm actaully an animator, so I never deal with the stories, but I thought I'd try anyhow. I really appreciate the constructive criticism though. ^_^ I'll try and do better just for you! | Reviewed By: A reviewer On: November 25, 2002 20:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Your righting style is just a bit monotonous, but overall this is pretty good. I'm looking forward to the next chapters. | Reviewed By: Shaka On: November 14, 2002 21:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Its a really good story, i really loved the part when Vegeta told them about sex, lol. keep it coming! | Reviewed By: Hard Candy Vegetto [MediaMiner Member] On: November 09, 2002 16:47 CST
Comment/Review:
Uh yeah... this to the person who wrote the last review... I'm not gonna delete it, because then I would be putting forward a false face... but seriously... if you want to make negative comments, leave a name too. I mean come on... that's like shooting a guy in his sleep. An old, blind, autistic, paraplegic guy in his sleep. It doesn't get more cowardly than that....
But thanks anyway... ^_^ | Reviewed By: hhfgshsfghsfg On: November 09, 2002 01:03 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Right. Now replace every mention of DBZ characters with any invented characters you can think of, and you have a decent story, in which the characters are not all OOC. | | Pages (2): [ 1 2 > » ] |
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