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| "First Person Plural" Reviews/Comments [ 35 ] | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 › » ] | Reviewed By: Koyote19 On: December 29, 2001 22:59 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I don't even know if I have the words to say what I felt reading this fic...I loved it, and hated the end...probably because something similar happened to me. I couldn't stop reading though. It's always interesting to see this situation from someone else's eyes, instead of just from the inside. You did a good job with this. so much of this echos my own experiences that it's scary sometimes, which may account for part of why I was so caught up in the story. I will hope for a sequel, so that I can see where you take it next. Again, good job with handling the switching of personalities, and the technical explanations. I've tried to explain to others sometimes what it feels like to shift... and my friends have tried to explain what they see when I do, and I have to say that you nailed it with this fic. Well done. | Reviewed By: koshiroryuu [MediaMiner Member] On: December 03, 2001 13:27 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Definitely one of the single most original fics I've ever read, and I thought the overall voice of it was absolutely brilliant. I was very impressed with how each personality really did come off as its own person, too. Very, very well done. Wow.
The switching between first and third person was usually handled beautifully, too, giving the overall impression that it was always in first person, except that the person in question wasn't always necessarily there, which was obviously kinda the point. :)
There were a couple of instances where that was kinda thrown, though, when something was written in the third person that gave an insight into Heero's thoughts or something, which was kinda jarring, but it didn't happen all that much at all and was pretty easy to overlook in the grand scheme of things. The verb tense had a tendency to vary, too, and a couple of other little grammar things, maybe, but it just needs an editor to catch those kinds of things, really. (I'd be happy to help, if you want...)
The ending was a bit of a shock, though; it kinda made me feel like I'd missed a chapter somewhere or something. Yeah, it's probably partially because I'm just a sucker for happy endings and all, but it would've been easier on me if I'd seen it coming at all from Heero's previous behavior. It felt like it was working its way to one ending but ended up with another. Maybe if you dropped a few more hints or something, or led up to it a bit more gradually? I guess it just kinda didn't sit right.
Also, tiny pet peeve, sorry, but if his therapist can prescribe meds then she's a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. A psychologist can have a PhD and therefore be a doctor, but only an actual medical doctor can prescribe medications, and if she has an MD then she's a psychiatrist. (Clearly, this is just my own neurosis coming out here, but still... *g*)
Anyway, more than you probably wanted, but I know that, as a writer, I always feel better with more rather than less, so I figured, hey, what the heck, right? :)
So, like I said, totally brilliant, very very impressive, and I *totally* wish I could ever manage to write this well myself. :) Absolutely wonderful. This is the first of your fics that I've read, and I totally want to read more! Like, right now! Right this second! (I'm such a fic addict... Sigh...)
Keep up the great work! | Reviewed By: Lady Jade [MediaMiner Member] On: December 03, 2001 01:43 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I Love it all! one of the best fics i've ever read! extremely original, well thought out, with an interesting plot. the ending seemed slightly out of corrospondence with the fic( but thats probably just because i'm a sap for happy endings and have been reading numerous deathfics lately, and needed some fluff) but other that, it was absolutly perfect. | Reviewed By: Sony_Mouse On: September 08, 2001 20:27 CDT
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OKay, it's been awhile since I've read a fic this well written. You really know what you're doing. I'm very impressed by your work and you have me compeletely suckered in. I must read more, please write more as soon as you can, this story is too good to waste | Reviewed By: Kekepania On: September 09, 2001 11:14 CDT
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WOOOW! I like a lot. Update as quickly as you can. The way you put it together is great. It's like, I want all the "personalities" and such to go away for Duo, but then all the personalities are like little bitty humans. Wow, that sounded bizarre. But keep it up! | Reviewed By: ShadowSpinner On: September 09, 2001 16:38 CDT
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Wow. that is so good. | Reviewed By: Sony_Mouse On: September 09, 2001 17:31 CDT
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WOw oh wow oh wow. This just gets better, and is really dragging me into it. I can't give this enough praise and am recommending it to all my friends | Reviewed By: Lil Dreamer On: September 09, 2001 17:45 CDT
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Been reading this on FF.n, and I still love it. Keep up the good work! | Reviewed By: AngelKali On: September 09, 2001 18:29 CDT
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this fic scares me. i cry reading it...i don't know if it's because i can relate to some of the things he's doing or going through ( i don't suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder i'm sure though..). i love it, and i NEED to read more. :P so please write more. *sighs* this fic has made me feel weird now! *sweat drop* i'm gonna stop typing... | Reviewed By: Tanya On: September 12, 2001 01:16 CDT
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This story is phenomenal! You must have done your research extremely well! I've not read a fic this well thought out in quite a long time. Now, who is Chisel? Yet another personality? I gotta admire Heero for loving Duo so much that he's willing to stay with him and learn about his condition. Please write more! | Reviewed By: Jay On: September 12, 2001 18:04 CDT
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This is an excallent story and I can't wait to see what happens next. | Reviewed By: masamune On: September 16, 2001 11:45 CDT
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Truly one of the best fics I've seen out there in a long time. You have incredible talent as a writer and this story is magnificent. I love the way you make each of the alters so different and real. Eagerly awaiting more from you. | Reviewed By: AngelKali On: September 23, 2001 10:12 CDT
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OH SHINGAMI! man chapter 14 was really good! jeeze...*sighs* all i can say was it was amazing... | Reviewed By: AngelKali On: October 06, 2001 12:01 CDT
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HOORAY FOR THE EPILOGUE! that's all i have to say, or that i should say. arigato. i'm happy. | Reviewed By: Lady Lye On: October 08, 2001 16:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
I've finally worked my way through, beginning to end and I cannot think of enough words to tell you how good this was!!!!!!!! It was excellent! VERY well written, a challenging subject (which was handled very well), -just frigging great!! ^________^ I adored it! This is on my faves list, w/o a doubt. You did everything incredibly well from grammar to informing your reader to handling the characters and- ok I'm babbling in trying to get it all out... You deserve HUGE praise. Ever think of entering this in a fic contest? -Lady (ladylye@ididitmyway.com) | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 › » ] |
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