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| "Breaking" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] | Reviewed By: Battleaxe185 On: April 20, 2004 23:19 CDT
Comment/Review:
I loved this!!! I really like how you simplified it... and made it easy to read while trying to convey your message. Maybe a little more detail next time, but very nice!
| Reviewed By: shinimitsukai [MediaMiner Member] On: January 28, 2004 09:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
All I can say is...awww! So kawaii! I've seen a lot of fics with Gojyou and Hakkai just going at it without a word as to a reason why. As such, this is almost a minific and not a PWP, although there is some deliciously sweet smut. The fandom needs more authors like yourself, who can put a reason with the actions and make it plausible. I can actually see this happening, one of those lonely, rainy nights that seem to affect everyone in the Sanzou-ikkou except for Gokuu. Now, at least, those two have each other. Gods, I'm such a sap-fanatic... Anyway, writing in this type of voice is difficult, and you may find that you slip up and switch tenses in the middle. Present tense is almost always reverted into perfect (past) tense for that reason. Much easier to write ;). Other than that, excellent! -Shinimitsukai
| Reviewed By: Fake Angel On: June 24, 2003 02:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
I really enjoy GojyoxHakkai, so I always enjoy reading anything with them. If a little awkward, your fic was still really good, and I liked the ending. Very sweet after both of them going through so much. I think I'd actually cry if I saw Hakkai cry... Anyway, keep at it! ^_^ |
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