Reviewed By: elito51 On: October 08, 2003 15:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
this story started really nice, it has a very interesting first chapter, but unfortunately, I don't know, the author didn't take the time to develop the conflicts and the sidestories. I mean, for example, the way Duo and Heero got together again. What happened there? Just a hug, three lines and wow! six year already forgotten. I mean where is the angst dammit. Also you don't use punctuation and thus the paragraphs are confusing, very confusing. And last but not least, a seven year old with guns and knifes! I know, these are the gundam children, but please get real. They are 7, if you wanted them to behave like 10-15 years old make them 10 or 15 years old. But please keep writing, i know your style will improve with time, this story deserve a second chance. this is my humble review, i liked the story but i know you can do it better. Of course this review is from someone who can't even write her own epitaph properly. i just can´t do it. Ok, be nice, be bad, be happy.
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