Reviewed By: Vega Obscura The King [MediaMiner Member] On: November 30, 2002 08:27 CST
Comment/Review:
Its good i guess. A little lacking detail and information. It seems you are journeying into 3rd person only narration. I feel that this story would be best in 3rd person Omnitient(or was it Omnipotent?). Well, what that is is normal 3rd person with an added twist. You can travel into the minds of the characters and tell what they are thinking and feeling. I use it all the time. Well, keep it up. Add more information and detail in chapter 4 if u can. |
