| "usagi life change" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: The Master [MediaMiner Member] On: October 07, 2004 12:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I want to see part 2 okay. You are an artist.
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Reviewed By: The Master [MediaMiner Member] On: October 07, 2004 12:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love your story it was great. You are an artist.
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Title: usagi life change
Reviewed By: Harukaking On: May 16, 2004 12:54 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Comment/Review:
Shame on you... this story can be soo much better if you just put some effort into it, but nonetheless I can't wait for the next chap to come out!!!!! YOU GO GO GO!
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Title: usagi life change
Reviewed By: distant sky king On: May 16, 2004 12:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
this story can be soo much more I mean it has an exellent story line, but you should put more effirt in it and please do some research before you write about something. That's why you got a low rating for writing style.
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Title: usagi life change
Reviewed By: latoya On: April 17, 2004 19:41 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
it was good waiting for an update of wedding. keep writing more. maybe mina and trista and amy and lita.
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Title: Like Your Fanfic
Reviewed By: Queen Reeny [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2004 21:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed reading your story but I'm not big fan of Hakura and Usagi togehter. Check out my sailor moon fanfic. I can't wait to read more of story so please update it
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Title: Check before you Post!
Reviewed By: Tenshi-Megami [MediaMiner Member] On: February 14, 2004 01:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hmmm, lets get a few major things out of the way. Don't think that I'm trying to offend and hurt you in any way, as that is not any of my intention. My intention is to make you a better writer. So I apologise before hand for anything hurtful that I may say before I plunge into an in-depth review of your story. Spelling and Grammar - Your spelling and grammar is just horrible. It looks like it's been done by a 7 year old. Check your spelling before you post! I believe that you've got Spell Check on your computer. USE IT. The only excuse for such horrible grammar is unless you have a 1,000 year old computer that doesn't have Microsoft word with Spell Check! When writing a fanfic or a story, you do not I repeat, DO NOT short cut words! Example: You do NOT write, "Usagi.....r...u...ok?" You write, "Usagi ... are ... you ... okay?" Using shortcuts is for chat purposes or e-mail only. It is not for stories! Do you see J.R.R Tolkien or J. K. Rowling writing, "Where r u? I can't c u!" in their books? No? I didn't think so. Do not use '&' use, 'and'. BE MORE DESCRIPTIVE!!! When I read your story it sounds as though they're just floating in an empty white space, no backgrounds, no NOTHING! Make sure you use CAPITAL LETTERS and COMMA'S. Ever heard of them? Here's an example. Usagi grinned at Haruka, "Ruka-chan! It's great to see you! How've you been?" DO NOT use slang, unless it is dialogue. Example: 'In Mamoru bedroom u see usagi & him makin out & stuff' Damn, I spotted so many mistakes in just the first seven paragraphs it nearly made me feel sick. I just couldn't read anymore! If you're going to continue posting like that, you should just quit and save yourself the trouble of writing a fanfic. Because no one would read the whole thing anyway! Characterization - Your characters aren't true to their original persolities. Like Usagi. You made her swear! Usagi does NOT swear. If you have ever heard her swear, tell me what episode it was and which part she swears. Romance Romance was just plain bad! They came in too fast. You didn't give the characters time to get used to each other! Here's an example that closely resembles how fast you stuck the romance in. The girl with dark blue hair walked down the street cheerfully. Suddenly, a man crashed into her. She looked up, startled, Oh!! He's gorgeous! she thought dreamily. He smiled down at her. "Hello. Aren't you just so beautiful." With that said, he picked her up and they started making out. After pulling away he gasped, "Will you marry me?" The girl squealed in delight. "Yes! YES!!" She pashed him again, rubbing her body against his. They had seven sons and fifteen daughters and lived happily ever after. THE END! Pay heed to my in-depth review and you'll become a much better writer. If you want to bitch about me, go on. I'm not stopping you. All I wanted to do was point you out into the right direction. If you want to discuss this furthur, send an e-mail to my e-mail address, aoimizuhoshi@hotmail.com If you do send me one, be sure that I'll reply instantly. *Bows* Good Day to you.
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Reviewed By: Sunny On: January 06, 2003 02:36 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Not 2 criticize but ure story was kinda wack......While u are still writing it u might wanna revise a little....well....ALOT.....I don't mean 2 sound so rud and mean its just that ure story is a little B4G....which means BORING...(B 4letters G)....
........but its still good....keep up the work.. |
