| "Ash Becoming a Love Machine" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] |
Reviewed By: GrayBear32 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 06, 2007 17:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
DUDE. you ever hear of spacing.
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Title: not bad
Reviewed By: Infernus Boy On: March 26, 2004 01:49 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Not bad dude, or dude-et. Cool battle scenes but the trojan thing WAS kinda off dude. heh not dissin you, Just saying you can improve. keep trying ^^
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Reviewed By: blinkrush On: February 08, 2004 17:06 CST
Comment/Review:
Trojan comdom this, next morning, trojan comdom, next morning...the cycle keeps going and going. It's the same garbage over and over. Even SNL is funnier than this. BTW, I really think SNL sucks.
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Reviewed By: Sundragon (not signed on) On: January 23, 2004 21:15 CST
Comment/Review:
It was a cute story! Trojan is giving him a dicount right? LOL I won't comment on the lemons because well... I really suck at them. I think your story was great! Adios!
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Title: Huh
Reviewed By: 69 On: January 16, 2004 20:12 CST
Comment/Review:
Man, not going into a descriptive hentai scene ruins the whole damn fic. Retire.
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Title: Retarded
Reviewed By: Zax On: December 20, 2003 16:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
My GRANDMA writes better than this. 'Trojan condom' this and 'sex' this, and look, he mentioned the condoms again! The battle scenes were extremely dumb, almost like they were not even there! A bunch of runons quotes with no marks. Go crawl back into the hole you came from. Stop writing GARBAGE like this.
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Reviewed By: True Dark Zero On: March 20, 2003 00:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
These were great fan fics and I will read your work far into the future. Great battle scenes but your sex scenes are a little lacking. Still good though. |
Reviewed By: Logan kale [MediaMiner Member] On: October 24, 2002 19:59 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
well i felt like reviewing this since there is a serious shortage of AAML lemons on mediaminer. i like that you kept a romantic aspect to the fic. which i think is a really hard thing to do when the characters have a threesome. manogomy is usually tied to real romance, so it's hard to add in another and still try to keep it from becoming another testiment to mindless smutt. you get points with me for trying it since i don't see it very often. it was a fun little fic to read, but if you are planning to do more lemons you might want to put a bit more work on the sex. i can tell you are more comfortable writting the fight scenes, so if you do this again i reccommend putting the same quality and effort into the sex scenes. (hard as hell to do, trust me i know ¬_¬)
it's just an issue of getting a better balence to the fic. the sexual aspects of the fic seems to fit better as a passing note that is trying to be a major part of the fic. my professional oppinion is either to cut it back to a side note of the fic (like leaving it at how ash is enjoying having sex on a daily basis) which would make this a R instead of nc-17.. or step it up and make that one of the main points.
lol i think i am babbling at this point. sorry bout that, and also sorry about the slew of typos which must be about every other word. lol ^_^''''
but seriouslty, all critiquing aside, this is a pretty decent fic and i think you have a lot of potential for writting really fun to read fics. unlike mine which tend to be dull heh ^_^
later |
Reviewed By: Da Weasle [MediaMiner Member] On: March 16, 2002 14:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
well, the amount of...umm...'mature action' was a bit disturbing, (please they are just little kids!) But all and all I thought the story line was pretty good. |
Reviewed By: The DJ Jester [MediaMiner Member] On: February 08, 2002 19:41 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
the reminders and all of that were wht killed you,that and the fact that lemons have the actual sex scenes.
The DJ Jester |
Reviewed By: Meis On: December 08, 2001 18:18 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yes please make a sequeal. |
Reviewed By: Terry On: November 21, 2001 21:01 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
keep up the good work |
