Reviewed By: Oshin On: December 30, 2002 09:51 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hi, a good story like this is, I believe needs to put in a lot of feeling. It's a real sweet story, very beautifully written and has a very tender ending too. I....I... cried, for Sakura, for Li and for your story. I like the story-line and the way you describe Li's flashback on those time he had with Sakura and the last paragraph. Especially the last paragraph, it's a very pain-racking yet sweet enough to make up a heart-rending close. I specially like these lines you wrote "Someday Li, I won't be here"; "I know Sakura would miss you the most, then Cherry, then Me. Even with that, I Love her"; "I love you". I can feel these 3 words, I know that its not every time when I hear/read these 3 words that I'll be touched, but I am, I am touched. It's like I can feel how Li feels about Sakura and I can imagine his expression, the agony, grief and the struggle.
However, I find the lyric of the song is too long, I kind of find it naggy and so, I skipped the last half of the song, going straight to where your story begins again. No doubt, the lyric is nice, it somehow express the agony of the story and sets into the atmosphere. However, like I mentioned earlier, it is too long. Personally, I feel that a short one, a few lines just enough to cover, will do the job and with even better impact.
I overall rate this fanfic, without the long lyric 7/10. I hope to read more of your fanfic and I also hope you dont find my remarks offensive, because I read your fanfic, more than once, and I think you deserves to know how I really feel it. Finally, I hope you will have a real nice holiday and a good year ahead and meaning more fanfics :D.
~Oshin |
