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| "The Saiyan Companion" Reviews/Comments [ 35 ] | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] | Reviewed By: Xero Sky [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2002 14:24 CST
Comment/Review:
I really liked the basic concept here. I don't think I've come across it before. I think you did a good job giving us a snapshot of a moment between the prince and his concubine, complete with reflections on all the complexities of the situation.
I have two suggestions for you, if you'd like to follow up this fic. One of them is simply MORE. I'm not really talking about the lemon, but some more details of the situation between them (was Kakarrot happy to be chosen? Was it an insult?) and perhaps something about the king's reaction to his concubine's reverting to being a warrior (was he angry? indulgent? hurt?) would have been good; both would have added a little more to the characters.
The other suggestion is in regard to word choice. 'Concubine' and 'consort' aren't really the same thing. A consort is the married partner of a ruler, who doesn't have any authority to rule themselves. In other words, not a queen or a king or princess, yet still married. A concubine isn't married, and is generally thought of as being a sexual companion.
Also, technically, Vegeta would be the one 'brooking no argument'; brooking no argument means not listening to or accepting any argument.
I think you did a good job keeping these guys in character, and I was really intrigued by the whole fic. I'd really, really like to see more from you with these guys! Good job! | Reviewed By: Lauryn [MediaMiner Member] On: December 29, 2002 00:55 CST
Comment/Review:
Oooooo! Very well done! I think you did a fine job with this pairing :) You did a great job of keeping them in character, and I liked the plot of the whole thing. It was different than most Vegeta and Goku pairings. Bravo! | Reviewed By: little panny On: December 28, 2002 21:53 CST
Comment/Review:
how sweet. vegeta seems to hang really on kaky as his male conubine.
which would happen, if is kakarott kidnapped
(because he is a real beauty) from freezer (or turles, brolli, nappa, cell... anyone of the badguys or form a mean chichi) and only because he could not resist, because he did not know how to be fought it due to vegetas forbade. and had to life as the conubine of his kidnapper or get selling as pleasure slave at a slave actions to someone cruel or nice or both at the same time.
what would vegeta do? free him or let him to face fate. | Reviewed By: Belinda On: December 28, 2002 18:56 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
that was really good. i love it. i only hope it would not let by this only one chapter. i want please more. a really long story with goku going against vegetas wishes to be a warrior because it war or something and every men and women would needed.
what would be if vegeta discovers more things they are other on kakarotto form the average sayajin. that he had the power of a super sayajin inside him. he discovers it why he had
kakarotto get pregnant. what is only a tread that
the legendary had.
this only suggestions. it your story, but i really hope there are is coming more. | Reviewed By: Lauryn S. On: December 28, 2002 18:36 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have read lately a lot of yaoi dbz storys and i can tell you yours was not bad. i really like it. and your idea as kaky vegetas conubine i have seen nowhere, only once a story with kaky as whore but that was different from setting.
and you should make more of this. it is a good start for a epic love (yaoi) story between the two.
maybe kaky is sneaking away to do training in secrect for able to protect his prince and surprised and pissed of vegeta by going super saiyajin. maybe that is why he is different from others, but for vegetas surprise that don't ruined his lovening aspects or such.
hm, think about it. i would really like to read more. please write further on this one. | | Pages (3): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 ] |
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