| "Firefly Wishes" Reviews/Comments [ 24 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: February 06, 2003 16:46 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hooray! Another chapter! I liked this one alot (I'm starting to get used to the POV shift) even with it's darkness (angst rocks!!).
Aha! A puppet a puppet! (FInally knows what you're talking about, heh) *singing* Miroku isn't dead...Miroku isn't dead!!! ...what's with my obsession for the lecher preist?? Umm...I didn't realize it until today but he looks a LOT like this guy I had a crush on in highschool. *sweatdrops* PLEASE let him be okay! Sango and he need to hook up! *lol* I HATE those damn void bugs or whatever they're called.
Through Inu-Yasha's flashback the mystery unfolds. ;) Just a TEENSY bit more until we find out how they made it to the desert, whoo hoo!
And what does Naraku want THIS time!?!? I'm guessing from his actions ... *gulp* Kagome?? I mean, when he was Onigumo(!?) he had a crush on Kikyo... *shrugs* The jerk!! GRRRR!!! When will guys like Inu-Yasha and Naraku learn that Kagome is NOT Kikyo!!?!?!?
He he he, sorry for the rant. I guess it means that I liked the chapter. ^_~ I can't WAIT for more!! ^_^ |
Reviewed By: Kachie-chan On: February 03, 2003 02:04 CST
Comment/Review:
AHAH!! You ended it just as it was getting good!! Please continue!! |
Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: January 24, 2003 20:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yay!!! I'm so happy! Another update AND Miroku isn't dead!!! But . . . *sniff* Then where are Sango and Miroku??? And does this mean that Naraku was the dead body?!?!? Then WHY isn't he DEAD and gone!?!?!
Umm... I admit, this chapter was a little confusing to me. Why? Well, it seemed like you kept switching back and forth between 1st person and regular third person. (First, Inuyasha was the narrator and then he wasn't) And that's why I gave you lower Style/Grammar scores. -_-
My suggestion . . . you could leave the majority of the story in Inuyasha's POV(point of view) and then switch to third person or another chacter POV (like when Kagome watched him as he slept). BUT you would have to have a distinction between POVs. (like between parts in a chapter) Does that make sense??? *shrugs* Just an idea to make everything read more smoothly. :)
OH, and thanks for the emails(not to mention the reviews!:), you are SO nice! From now on I'll try and be more prompt with my reviews!! (I realize that I missed chapter3-_-) Don't let the lack of feedback here get you down (and despite what everyone else says, I get LESS feedback from fanfiction.net O.o)
^_^ Keep writing!! |
Reviewed By: evenstar On: January 24, 2003 19:41 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
wow this story is getting good!!! keep writing!!!!!! update soon ;) |
Reviewed By: TigerQueen On: January 20, 2003 17:51 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
OK, I'm holding off on an overall rating, as there isn't much yet...but it's so yummy so far! Oooh...I'm really anxious to find out about Miroku (although it's unlikely that you'd really kill him off -- poor Sango -- but it is your fic), and I'd really like to see more...something blossom between Inu-Yasha and Kagome. The only thing that seems a little off is Inu-Yasha's voice -- it's hard to picture him this articulate. At the same time, he's lost his memory, so it's conceivable that he's also lost his need to be gruff and "manly." I don't know. If you ever feel the need to go back and revise anything, you might want to limit the flowery prose, but it's fine the way it is. The plot is very interesting and original so far -- not your normal existing-merely-for-fluffiness romance -- and I love it (although *dang it!* I do eventually want to see some waffy-ness)! Keep up the good work! (reviewed on chapter 3) |
Reviewed By: Lady Hawk [MediaMiner Member] On: January 18, 2003 19:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a great fic. continue writing it. update. |
Reviewed By: Pammy On: January 16, 2003 09:10 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Really excellant story. I was so drawn in by the writing and plot. |
Reviewed By: Duo no Tsuin [MediaMiner Member] On: January 16, 2003 01:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
(I'm going to get this out of my system first) I only gave you an 8 because I saw at least 5 spelling/grammar errors in the two chapters. Sorry if that was harsh, I was just trying to help. -_-
This was REALLY suspensful to me. The mood was set perfectly and I could feel all the sensations that Inuyasha felt--emotional and physical.
Amnesia stories are really interesting, but I think writing it in a first person point of view is MUCH better. You get to identify with the confusion and helplessness that he feels.
So what happened to Kagome in the dream/memory?? Is that what led Inuyasha and Miroku away?
Honestly, when I read the description of the dead man in black robes with a staff ... *gulp* ... I was pretty sure my favorite lecher preist was-- *sniff* So what happened to "him" (the corpse)? Did Inuyasha kill him?? Or was this a something just masquerading as Miroku?? If Miroku IS dead ... then who the heck did it???
If the rest of your story brings this many questions ... then I'd say it's a mystery. *heh*
Write more because this is looking REALLY well done so far!! ^_^ OH ... and if it's not too much trouble, could you email me at duonotsuin@yahoo.com when you update this story?? Pretty please?? :) |
Reviewed By: Addicted On: January 10, 2003 21:02 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ahh! Miroku's dead! Good story so far though. Amnesia makes for interesting stories. Hehehe. Update soon! |
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