| "Days Off" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] |
Reviewed By: white tiger 27 On: January 23, 2004 20:55 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a good fic. the only thing that bugged me was that you said 'boob' you should say something like 'breast' 'mound' or other descroptive words.
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Reviewed By: JadedTrowa On: April 07, 2003 00:33 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 2 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
Ok first of all Stop, you need to expand your vocabulary and word power a little more before continuing on in your FanFiction career. For example the word 'Boobs' is an extremely childish word, perhaps the word 'Breasts' might be better fitting. Secondly, there wasn't much of a story to this, and if there was, it wasn't very descriptive. You should work on being more descriptive with your sentences, flesh out the story some more, add a few minor details to the plot. I know that this is a Lemon, but even Lemon's need stories to go with them. Lastly I'd like to say that this fiction is pretty good, I did like it, I just thought that those few words of advice may better your career and help you produce more promising results.
||-JadedTrowa-|| |
Reviewed By: Tara On: February 02, 2003 12:27 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Nope can't critize u for this fanfic. Awsome and come to think of it now i just got ta ask when is the next chapter????? Ohhh yah u just gotta luv the sex. hehehe
Tara |
Reviewed By: Janeth Rhian On: January 14, 2003 16:51 CST
Comment/Review:
this was good! Hey vicious & sex you gotta love it. Sounds like my Black Dog Saga is catching on. HEH |
