Title: no offense
Reviewed By: VictimOfCircumstance [MediaMiner Member] On: August 29, 2005 15:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
like the title says, no offense, but I think that this story would be better third person. It is kind of weird for people to randomly think "so delicate, so beautiful" or "my eyes are starting to hurt and become moist". I mean, it's a good plot, but I'm fairly certain Bakura would not think to himself "My chest also feels quite tight and painful". Still, I like the plotline, and the writing style itself isn't bad.
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