| "Coalescence" Reviews/Comments [ 30 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: lupusdragon [MediaMiner Member] On: March 30, 2003 15:07 CST
Comment/Review:
Karen: Go Mokuba!
LD: *rolls eyes at Karen*
Karen: what, Seto needs some sort of intervention and I doubt it will be divine, so Mokuba is a good second choice. The little brother just as protective as the older one.
LD: You are too philosophical sometimes. Why can't you ever just say that you like the story?
Karen: Because you always say that. I like to be different. It is splendiferous!
LD: Yeah, it is really good! Update soon! |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: March 29, 2003 20:04 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really love this one. The unusual situation with Yami and Yugi sharing one body, and Seto's attraction to only one of the two, is both interesting and intriguing. I could SEE the attraction of Yami for Seto, but I could never see Seto wanting Yugi.
The scene in the limo where the very sound of Yami's voice has Seto awash in desire was very good. I think my temperature got a bit higher when I read that bit!
Poor Kaiba. He is really trying very hard, and I think it shows how very much he wants to impress Yami. He's always been very smart, so it's good to see he knows that he can't just act like he's changed.
Yugi's reaction to Seto's asking for his input was very cute, and I really liked Yami's cynical opinion of the whole thing...but it was great to see that he also gave points to Kaiba for trying. And as Kaiba pointed out...he wasn't lying.
The story seems very well thought out. It has heavy emotional issues in it as well as a bit of spice, which makes for an interesting read on so many levels.
Kudos! |
Reviewed By: halowing4 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 28, 2003 21:46 CST
Comment/Review:
Excellant progression of the story. Lord knows how hard it is for Kaiba to be nice. The addition of the Dark Magician as not only a guardian but as a friend was also good. |
Reviewed By: Solitaire and Xpyne [MediaMiner Member] On: March 28, 2003 19:19 CST
Comment/Review:
Solitaire: Me again. I'm working on adding a little color to your reviews, lol. I just hope the HTML recognizes this color...
Ack! This chapter was such a tease--so short! But I guess I'd rather have shorter, more frequent updates than longer ones that are forever in between.
I loved this chapter! Aww, Yugi's so cute; all happy that Kaiba asked him for input on the VR game. Heh, I wonder what Yami would think if he knew he was about one step away from one-sided phone sex with Seto... lmao *sighs* I love Seto. And Yami's right--he is trying. ^___^
Have you thought of posting this on fanfiction.net? I know for sure that you'd get a huge response; all of us over there are dying from lack of Seto/Yami. *giggles* Lol, I'm dying here; I need more! |
Reviewed By: Blue September [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2003 07:20 CST
Comment/Review:
Yay! This is so great. You've made the dialoge and actions so believable. I can't wait for more. It'll be interesting to see what happens when the other part of the story comes into play. Take your time. I'd rather have a slow fic that's good than a quick fic that's bad.
See you! |
Reviewed By: lupusdragon [MediaMiner Member] On: March 25, 2003 22:10 CST
Comment/Review:
LD: Ohhhh, identity crisis!
Karen: Technically it is a sexuality crisis
LD: :-b whatever, it is an emotional crisis
Karen: I'll give you that. Kinda angsty
LD: Yeah, angsty and cool
Karen: Yeah, and actual relationship development
LD: what is so good about that?
Karen -_-; |
Reviewed By: halowing4 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2003 23:20 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story is off to a very interesting start. Looking forward to more. |
Reviewed By: maladyrancor [MediaMiner Member] On: March 22, 2003 19:44 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You have a masterful control over your language. The character motivations are extremely complex, and i think as a result, this story is extremely original and well-written. The storyline itself is impeccable, and although the pairing situation is relatively weird, it gives it a certain charm.
Please, I implore you to continue! It's so good! |
Reviewed By: Blue September [MediaMiner Member] On: April 04, 2003 21:32 CST
Comment/Review:
Yup! I really do love this. It's so great, and let me just say, as I forgot before, how much I loved that "Yes Sir!" line. THAT was PRICELESS!!!! |
Reviewed By: Solitaire and Xpyne [MediaMiner Member] On: March 27, 2003 16:34 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Solitaire: Ohhhhh, I love how this story is going so far. Xpnye doesn't have much time to go online, so I read some of the really good ones outloud to her while she does art homework, and we both love this one! We were laughing so hard and Yami and Yugi's little 'conversation', and when Yugi was thinking, "That means some other guy will be touching my--AAAAAACK!" rotfl You simply must continue!
I know, Kaiba's such a bastard, isn't he? lol But I myself never have the heart to make him so mean, 'cause 1) he's my absolute favorite *grins sheepishly*, and 2) Xpyne and mine's theory is that he's just that way because he needs love. *giggles*
Anyway, great job, and please update soon! Ja! |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2003 09:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
Another interesting chapter.
I still like Yugi's grappling with his relationship with Yami as well as with Seto.
His reaction, not sure if he should be relieved, insulted, or freaked out, was great. I like that you show he could be attracted to Kaiba, and that he certainly wants to at least be friends with him, and yet...isn't all of a sudden thinking "I MUST HAVE HIM."
Still very nicely done how you manage to deal with the dual nature of Yugi/Yami.
And yes, they are both very intense! |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: April 06, 2003 09:01 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh, wow. Love the way you said Kaiba's eyes felt "hot" - they really do feel that way when you're ready to cry!
His struggle to be civil and tamp down his impulse to pound Jou was great. Really really shows he's trying. And he is gaining quite a bit of respect for Yugi as well.
His answer to Mokuba was funny. "Not exactly."
I'm really not so fond of Yugi/Seto as much as Yami/Seto (probably for purely aesthetic reasons, shallow as I am!) but it's nice to see that Kaiba really is recognizing him as more than a "kid" and an innocent.
It does kind of make for an interesting bit of suspense, with Yugi wondering about his own sexuality and orientation. |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2003 17:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
LOL! "I always dress to look good" - what a great line! (He did always look MORE than good to me...especially his attire in the Battle City story arc!) |
Reviewed By: Jam ( to family) Dilan (to friends) On: March 27, 2003 13:10 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
UP DATE, UP DATE, UP DATE, UP DATE,!!!!!!!!
need to know what hapens next, I need to know |
Reviewed By: Blue September [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2003 21:58 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
YAHOO! Wow, what a fic! I need more of this PLEASE! This was so well planned and written! I've never seen someone do a fic where they actually take into consideration the fact that they can't separate. At least not in a relationship with people other than their other halves. Very original! You definitely deserve all of those tens!!! |
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