| "Darkness falls" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: sephonei [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2008 03:27 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
I only have a little criticism. You got a decent storyline going, but you need to make your time line more pronounced. I mean like, Kagome or any person that just gave birth, isn't going to be getting up immediately to go somewhere. They would be resting for a few days. They also wouldn't be making love after only 2 weeks. I also don't think that one day old babies are going to be up to playing fetch...lol. There were a few spelling mistakes, but that happens and it understandable. I also have a question...how is it that Shippo and Sesshomaru are in the present time? If it is an alternate universe, then why aren't Sango and Miroku also able to be in the present time? Other than those few things, you got a good story going. Please keep it up. ^^
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Reviewed By: Sakura Tree [MediaMiner Member] On: March 03, 2007 23:54 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
um, ok. overall it was fine, but go easy on the screaming...and try not to use too many run-on sentences, because that makes the story confusing.
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Title: DARKNESS FALLS
Reviewed By: SHY QUEEN On: March 20, 2005 16:53 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
YOUR STORY WAS A LITTLE COMPLCATED IN THE 2 CHAPTER BUT OVERALL IT WAS GOOD. TRY TO FINISH THE STORY.
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Reviewed By: Julie K. On: July 07, 2003 23:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
This story has a lot of potential, but it's very difficult to follow. Your writing is very choppy and lack flow. Just as an example, it the first chapter, at first I got the impression that Inuyasha was upset about Kagome being pregnant and a few lines later he seemed happy and accepting of it. Why did he change his mind so fast. You didn't provide any dialogue or description of what exactly made him change his mind. Perhaps some internal dialogue, some insight into what he was think would really improve the scene. This kind of happened throughout the entire story. That's what makes it s difficult to follow. I think that with some revision and additions this could be a lot better story. Keep working at it!
PS.... I hope I don't sound mean, unlike other reiewers. I just wanted to give some helpful criticism. |
Reviewed By: Kagome_chan [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2003 19:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this is to the bitch, you know cassy you can be a pain in the ass to me sometimes and you know what i am deleting your reveiw because your reveiws are just for the humor of the audience and also you are a waste of my time reading it so go away or i will reveiw yours with bad comments too if you dont shut up and go away just dont bug me anymore looser bitch. the rest of you reveiwers out there you are cool, because you dont insultpeople about their fanfics and then say why do i bother like cassy the bitch over here and the pathetic thing is, she is one of my best friends or was. |
Reviewed By: The Bitch On: April 16, 2003 19:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
you know, if 0 of 10 was i choice, i would pick it. your other reviewer must be on crack 'cause this REALLY sucks. you should find a different hobbie or something. so the man raped her and blood splattered every where? that wouldn't have happened, they could have blood on their faces from the cuts, but come on. stop showing your stupidity and stop writing this. (why do i bother?) |
Reviewed By: Kagome_chan [MediaMiner Member] On: April 11, 2003 16:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
sorry for all the mispellings and mistakes i have that is why i have 1 for Spelling & Grammar. |
Reviewed By: bsasami153 On: April 10, 2003 18:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
You need reviews you got one. Interesting story here. I never knew one girl who goes through many trials in her life time. Will continue reading. |
