Reviewed By: Edgar Allen Gus On: April 01, 2003 21:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
:'( A very sad story, and very well writen ;) I enjoyed this story much. ;) Its a godo contrast to the usual person find person, and they screw till the early morning break. You kept all the emotion and left out the meaningless sex. Good Job. Work of trimming it down though. Take out anything repeated and unneeded. If you want to say something that could be said in both the dialog and narration, you should usally choose for teh character to say it and not anrrate it. Also, work on paragraphs, the small you can make paragraphs the better. If you can trick a person into thinking somethign is small by spliting paragraphs it'll be more appealing to read.
Other than those notes: it's a great story ;) |
