Reviewed By: Nekocin [MediaMiner Member] On: June 30, 2003 20:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Uhm ^_^' this is the first Yu-gi-oh fic with Yugi and Yami as main characters I've ever read and I see you DO have some major flaws. The style was swinging too fast. I mean you're kind of rushing the story.
Tip: Please try to space the paragraphs and broaden the character's relationships. I mean try to expand the story telling. The story is too rushed and too fast to follow.
I've noticed some errors in your work too. Maybe you can ask for a beta-reader to read over your work. But *some* of your errors are not really THAT noticable.
As for originality... I guess it's kind of obvious if you keep rushing. So please try to cover the plot holes a bit.
As for enjoyment... I enjoy reading supernatural stuff too, but the story kind of collide one another. Just somehow I think you just wanted to write them down as soon as possible.
>:( Darn! I didn't mean to be mean and all. Consider me as not really a good writer, but a good 'reader'. I'm not being sarcastic, but I'm being honest. Luckily it's not really THAT __ to rate it lowly than this.
Since this is my first Yu-gi-oh story to have Yugi in it as the main character and all I just want to help you out with some tips like try to expand the story, cover the plot holes, try finding a beta-reader (Although I would like to beta for you... but I'm in the middle of an exam week and I can be busy sometimes with other work -_- I'm sorry)
Try keeping it up and think about it. Update soon if you might. ^_^ I'll be happy to review a few times and point out some of your mistakes.
If I offended you somehow please forgive me for the strong words in this review. If one loves to write ::shrugs:: and people criticize it so darn cruelly just cover your ears and don't listen ::shrugs:: |
