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| "A Simple Wish" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: Kendricks_Alashane On: July 31, 2004 10:44 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I LOVED IT! IT WAS JUST SO SWEET!
| Title: Sweet!
Reviewed By: pyrzm [MediaMiner Member] On: March 12, 2004 08:14 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
A very sweet, sexy heartwarming story. You really captured the characters!
| Reviewed By: hatorisohma On: November 24, 2003 00:12 CST
Comment/Review:
I didn't choose to use the number rating system, because I think that it's really difficult to place a numerical rating on writing/art. I really loved this fic. It had all the YnM elements that I love- sweetness/angst between Tsuzuki and Hisoka, nice storytelling and really good understanding of the characters. I've read stories by Starza before and really liked them. For some reason I hadn't gotten around to this one til recently. I was not disappointed.
| Reviewed By: Faye-Faye [MediaMiner Member] On: July 13, 2003 18:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really lvoed this story!! The emotions were right, and it was sucha kawaii story!!! Very nicely writen! ^_~ Ja-ne! | Reviewed By: Shinigami_Raven69 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 02, 2003 00:05 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was a darling fic! I really liked the story line, and your characterizations were very good. The reason I rated a little low for style and spelling/grammar was...well, there were a lot of errors. You'd benefit from using a beta reader, if you don't already. Many of the spelling errors were those that wouldn't be caught by a spell checker, because they were real words (you had "word" rather than "world," and "chief" where it should have been "chef" for example), and you had some grammar issues as well. One that I remember is something like "...their relationship didn't change since then" when it should have read "...their relationship hadn't changed since then"
As for style of writing, there was a lot of choppiness. There were so many instances in which you could have used compound sentences, rather than short sentences, and it would have given a nicer flow. Also, you often begin sentences with conjunctions (and, but, so), when those words are meant to join compound sentences, not to begin single sentences. If you are using one of those words at the beginning of a sentence, that is a clue that it can most likely be combined with the sentence before it to make a compound sentence.
Please don't take this as a flame, as it absolutely is not! You have a lovely talent! This is meant in the friendliest, most constructive voice possible!! ~big grin~ |
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