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| "The Valentines Day Surprise" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: Vegge's Mate (Eevee) On: January 11, 2005 02:50 CST
Comment/Review:
As I read the part about him getting her flowers and a pendent, I thought about it being OOC, but then I was thinking as a prince it's such a natural thing for royalty to shower their love interest with gifts. So hey, I can see how he'd to that. You could work on your grammar, though, but so far so good. This was certainly a sweet story. ^_^ Keep up the good work.
| Reviewed By: bimbo n ditz On: May 11, 2004 09:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
this woz kool v gud plz write more dbz one shot fics!!!!! if ya wan u can ck out r fics r pename is bimbo and ditz if ya du dont forgt ta review! bye byez gtg surfs up!
| Reviewed By: Shiva_Aeon On: June 26, 2003 12:29 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Pretty good.I liked it a lot.but here are some suggestions.1)Vegeta is very OOC.2)He would never tell his mate that he loves her.But apart from those two things it was incredible! | Reviewed By: miraidebbie [MediaMiner Member] On: June 23, 2003 01:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
awww, Veggie's so sweet... :p OOC but cute. | Reviewed By: Lone Vixen On: June 19, 2003 17:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
I'm Lone Vixen and i believe that I'm the first to review; Awesome!
Anyways, I didn't bother rating it seeing as it's a one shot. I believe i'll just put my ideas of it here:
It was a nice little one-shot of my favorite couple, Bulma and the Saiyajin Prince. A sweet and cliche valentine's day; to which Vegeta, in my perspective, was a little OOC with the flowers and jewelry. However, that's fine because we all know the meaning of fiction in FanFiction. It was sweet that Vegeta made Bulma's day better.
The grammer and structure were quite weak. No complete sentences, need for more vocabulary, and the dialogue didn't quite follow the rules of...well, dialogue. i won't go into that part though because it is one of those nit-picky things. All together though, those were just some tips for you if you write in the future.
Lol, nice little author's note at the end. That is quite coincidental.
-Lone Vixen |
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