| "After Garden" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] |
Reviewed By: Lina Inverse [MediaMiner Member] On: January 16, 2005 23:39 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Comment/Review:
The plot has potential, but it's waaay too rushed! First of all, you need paragraphs instead of one big huge chunck of stuff. And you also need more details and emotions involved.
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Reviewed By: Amy On: August 20, 2003 22:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
This fanfiction even though it's short is very well conscious. The only quandary was that you just you were reiterating the word "I". It was very good but the word just lingered in my mind over and over again. If you just added some more dialogue because your descriptions were reasonable. I understood what was going on but I wanted to read more of what the characters said to each other at the bar or wherever. It would have given your story an additional appeal to it. Anyway, persist writing more because I want to comprehend further into the mind of the character. |
Reviewed By: Ninjakamon [MediaMiner Member] On: July 04, 2003 09:45 CDT
Comment/Review:
i dont get it |
