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| "Dragonball AF" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] | Reviewed By: future wanderer On: October 14, 2004 15:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
It ain't Dragonball w/out Goku, dude. And why isn't Piccolo dead? Take a bit of time and explain things, because the tone of the story was serious, and if you want to be taken seriously, you need to make sense. And Nameks can't un-fuse (yet another thing in need of explanation of why). But I like the idea of actually going into the far future rather than rehashing the past with familiar characters (which I would expect, and which I would have done myself), so kudos for that. I would delete the story, and start over, adding a bit of background info on the hows and whys, and do it a bit more professionally. Just a thought. Don't give up on it; remember, nothing's perfect, meaning there's always room for improvement.
| Reviewed By: phantomscribe72 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2003 14:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
I think perhaps you should stop flaming other stories and work on your own.
Every story has potential, and with a LOT of work, yours may turn out to be worth reading someday, but if you continue to flame other authors no one is going to want to read your fics, no matter how good they are. | Reviewed By: nikki On: July 14, 2003 21:15 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Dude, you really can't write very well. Trying working on constructing an actual plot, character development, sentence structure etc. There are books for this. Please buy a couple. | Reviewed By: James On: July 11, 2003 03:17 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well don't be overjoyed by the rating, if I could I would have rated all the categories (minus Spelling & Grammar) 0 zero.
This is the most dull story I ever read. In fact I wonder if this even qualify as a story, it most look like a script.
There's no originality, all your character are OOC, I tried hard to search an illusion of plot but didn't find any.
Well I should have guessed that when I read your summary, but I thought I would give it a try anyway. Well thanks to you I probably will never be able to say this is the worst pathetic excuse for a fic I ever read.
Maybe with lot of effort you'll manage to raise your writting style to the quality of tv guide summaries, which would be quite an achievement. | Reviewed By: little_ninjin [MediaMiner Member] On: July 10, 2003 06:51 CDT
Comment/Review:
like i said with your talk show fic, you need to drop script formatting. no one is going to produce this. so actually learning how to write narrative might help.
also...Don't flame fics to get attention for your own. actually try to develop your craft as a writer and get a readership. | Reviewed By: MelizaMac [MediaMiner Member] On: July 19, 2003 15:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Interesting - by reading your summary, one would think your writing skills were much more developed than they appear in the actual fic. Did you write the summary or did someone else write it for you?
You seem to have an idea formed for this fic - just take some time to develop it before slapping words together and throwing them into a chapter. There is some real potential here if you will take some time with it... That will also show that you have pride in what you do.
Once again, chill with the flames. Even if you are into masochism, the writers you flame are asking for constructive feedback on their fics; not immature opinions.
Good luck with your writing. |
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