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| "Bleeding Hearts" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] | Reviewed By: Lunapokema [MediaMiner Member] On: January 27, 2004 00:38 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
^_^ ::smiles:: ::eerie silence...:: WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO ADD THE THIRD CHAPTER?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ::eerie silence returns:: >D I'm not gonna go away until you update this. I don't care if I have to come here every day and review until you update this story. XD And I will!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! How many times and on how many sites have I reviewed this fic? Too many. >< I've been un suspence since July. T_T Please write and post more!!
| Title: *___* love this fic
Reviewed By: Rose1 On: November 05, 2003 02:39 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I loved the way the story flows and the portrayel of the characters! I hope to see more REALL soon!!! *hint hint* Keep up the fabulous work! ~Rose
| Reviewed By: DG-sama [MediaMiner Member] On: July 16, 2003 10:51 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I found a couple of spelling and grammar mistakes but nothing to bad. Other then that I found this wonderfully enjoyable! I love Demon Diary, there really should be more fanfics of it out there. Oh well, it's still fairly new. Great job anyway. ^^ Hey I was also wondering if you could e-mail me when you update... | Reviewed By: Lunapokema [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2003 19:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed this fic! Except for the whole Raenef being raped part. And your being too hard on yourself in last note of yours. I really did feel sorry for Raenef, and I didn't want to smack him because he was whining. My writing's not that great either (On ff.n or here my penname is Lunapokema! one of the 20 fanfics I'm writing for Demon Diary should be up soon {but I'm only #3 O_o...) and I think I'm pretty good. ::eye twitches:: And if any of the idiots standing behind me has a comment about that I will hurt you! ::clears throat:: Anyway, I think you did wonderful job! ^_^ The only suggestions I can give,
1. Is to use different words in some area's. (i.e-
"Eclipse dumped the dirty cloth into the muddy colored water of the bowl he had brought along with him, and reached for the cream he had brought along with him". or "She shielded her eyes with an arm, squinting
up at the sky. The moon hung heavy and low in the sky, startlingly bright.
"Sky's pretty tonight," she offered, not wanting to continue with that
particular vein anymore." Say something like skyward in that first sentence so words don't repeat themselves over and over, which can bore the reader {at least if their like me..})
2. "Eclipse, a demon renowned for his coldheartedness and his ruthlessness,
scooped up the small, yielding body of his lord with a tomoyo gentleness that
would have shocked those who had seen Eclipse during the Hangma War." In this sentence what does "tomoyo" mean? And the word waif, I don't know what that is either. A key to these types of words would be great in one of the Authors Notes!
3. Reanef's hair is blond, but I think his eyes are blue, judging by the picture on the tokyopop website. And Eclipse's are violet, courtsey of volume two. At least that's how I think it is. So I hope I helped some, and that there are no spelling errors in this review...
Vegeta: And Kami-sama knows there are...
Luna: Hey! \_/*
Vegeta: Oh, be quiet onna, you know there are...
Luna: ~Grrrrrrr...~
Sesshoumaru: It seems that whenever you open your mouth, Vegeta, you aggravate her.
Luna: Damn right he does!! ::frying pan appears out of nowhere::
Vegeta: Eep. ::starts running::
Luna: Get back here, Saiyan!!!!!
Raenef: I'm really have to take lessons from her.
Eclipse: ::watches the brutal display now taking place:: In your case it would be overkill, Lord Reanef.
Raenef: ::not paying attention, as he has started a conversation with Sesshoumaru:: So your a demon? Cool! And you have such pretty hair!
Eclipse: ::starts growling::
Sesshoumaru: You think so? I rather prefer the white gold color of your hair, to mine. Sometime's I feel like an old man because it's white.
(Luna: I'm just gonna say now, that by some weird incident, I ended up attached to the Sesshoumaru/Kouga pairing. And I think I'm the first person to like this particular yaoi couple.)
Raenef: ::blushes::
Sesshoumaru: ::quirks at an eyebrow at Eclipse, who looks like he wants kill something:: ::or at least maim it:: Is that yourmate behind you? He looks awfully upset.
Raenef: ::blinks cutely in confusion:: You mean, Eclipse? ::blushes again:: He's not my mate, he's my sensei.
Sesshoumaru: Well, he's certainly acting like you belong to him. I don't remember seeing someone get this jealous, who wasn't in love. ::purposely talks loud enough for Eclipse to hear him::
Raenef:: ::blushes a darker shade::
Eclipse: ::pauses in helping Luna beat up Vegeta:: ::blushes as well::
Luna: ::realizes that Eclipse has been helping her:: ::looks down at the injured anime character:: Oop's. Didn't mean to hurt you that badly. ::helps him up:: Poor Veggi-chan. ^^;; He's unconcious. (And they used that face in vol. 2! I had to squint to see it..) ::lloks up at the author of the fic she's reviewing:: Oh. I forgot you were here! Well, anyway, I should get going. This review is probably too long... ::sweatdrops:: But there are other fanfics on ff.n the author's name is mintyfreshsocks. But I think your the first person on mm.o, I don't know if you are because of their stupid search button that only does the authors name and email, or the title of the fic... If they'd fix that, I'd come here more... SO bye bye, I'll leave now. I have to see how long this thing is. O_O Sorry 'bout that.
~Luna
Vegeta: ::mutters:: I'll kill that onna... |
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