| "Betrayal" Reviews/Comments [ 21 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2003 03:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
Glad to see that Quatre, although dealing with the betrayal in a rather unusual way, isn't falling apart at the seams.
Duo is hysterical. Love his persistence and his bugging the HELL out of Quat.
Nice internal reflections on Quatre's part, with his "once upon a time" crush on Trowa still obviously on his mind. |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2003 19:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
I liked the way you added the dream sequence into the story. Sometimes the subconscious knows best, and I found it amusing that he was struggling with the eye and hair color in his dream. Most telling, though, dream aside, is how he started to slip as he reminded himself who he really loved.
I think the story has potential. Yes, there were a few typos or spelling errors or wrong words, but nothing as bad as I expected from your intro. I've been a beta reader for two writers...for one, I volunteered, and the other asked if I'd mind doing it. Some authors have posted requests for one in their intro paragraph. That's about the extent of what I know about "finding" a beta reader. At present, I have the time to do so if you're interested, although things may change this fall.
I was glad to see Quatre immediately summon Rashid to have Ryan summarily removed from the premises. He can always nurse his heartache later, but I was glad to see that he didn't fall apart. Sometimes the anger is what keeps someone going!
The listing of pairings at the beginning caught my attention as well...a brief interlude of Duo and Quatre, eh? I always thought those two would be good for each other, whether as close friends or something more, and I look forward to seeing how you handle their relationship in the interim. |
Reviewed By: Garner [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2003 00:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ooooo... 'The S*** Hits the Fan' is right! This looks to have potential for much yumminess! |
Reviewed By: Flash On: July 09, 2003 17:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
oooh Quatre's pissed. Really good! I'm guessing Trowa's coming into the story soon? UPDATE! |
Reviewed By: MissyIrene On: July 25, 2003 16:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
The plot thickens. ^_~ Can't wait to read more, update again soon. |
Reviewed By: MissyIrene On: July 18, 2003 16:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great fic so far. I love how you write (bitchy) Quatre, its a riot. ^_~ Anyway can't wait to read more so please update again soon. ^_^ |
| Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] |
