| "Betrayal" Reviews/Comments [ 21 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] |
Title: all chapters
Reviewed By: Shinigami24 On: August 31, 2003 04:58 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
re-reads the last line and scream bloody murder* I hate cliffhangers! *Death Glare* Damn! Why didn't you have Trowa show up and kick Ryan's sorry ass?! I hate cheating, cuz it happened to my best friend. Her jerk ex cheated on her numberous times! It tore her up inside! And Ryan reminds me of him! Only he is a brunnette. And u're right I strongly doubt that Darien is anything like Ryan! Since in the manga's he's a nice guy... And he's very loyal to his girlfriend...Only time i saw him with any others was when he was brainwashed, which seems to happen too often... 3 times I know of, and he died-hm once, the silver millenium doesn't count! Anyway, what did Duo find? It cannot be good since he called Heero... Are Duo and Heero together? Anyway, pls have Trowa, Duo, Heero and Wufei team up and kick Ryan's sorry ass! I'm sure that Wufei would think of something, since this could be considered as injustice, since Quatre is one of his friends and he got hurt! And I really wanna know who has the name Shinigami, since I came up with it 2 yrs ago and used it without any problems 3 weeks ago! |
Reviewed By: Lura On: July 29, 2003 15:57 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love it!!!!!!! Please write more soon:)
Death to Ryan!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Reviewed By: MeefMonster On: July 28, 2003 15:37 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
totaly kick ass!!! i hope Heero and Duo skin that dude alive! |
Reviewed By: CHM On: July 26, 2003 13:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
This story rules! Keep this one going!! |
Reviewed By: wren_legacy [MediaMiner Member] On: July 25, 2003 17:15 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ooooooo... what did duo find out?.... This is getting good, can't wait for your next update! happy writing! ^_~ |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: July 25, 2003 16:21 CDT
Comment/Review:
I loved the little mattress sales sharks. You're right, they DO circle like sharks around a bleeding fish.
Duo is too funny, and his personality here works well against Quatre's self-pity. The little soul purging that Quat indulged in at dinner was well done. I like the subtle hint he inadvertently dropped.
Nice cliffhanger ending. I do wonder what was in that folder that Rashid gave Duo - that ALSO prompted Duo to immediately call Heero. Yes, the plot does indeed thicken here! |
Reviewed By: bishonenlover On: July 23, 2003 10:09 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I hate when people write story's and they have only one chapter up and wait a month or more to do the next one.This sound's like a really cute story please continue and soon I can't stand the suspense! |
Reviewed By: wren_legacy [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2003 18:03 CDT
Comment/Review:
Duo driving? this could be bad....... poor Quatre. But bitchy wow! That was different. I like it! Duo is such a pest. but I love him for it. if anyone can help Q-man its him. Happy writing! ^_~ |
Reviewed By: Sundaire [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2003 13:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
I overlooked this story at first.. When I saw the summary I was afraid of it being Trowa cheating on Quatre, but I'm glad I took the chance and opened that first chapter.
I like how you made Quatre level-headed (so to speak) about the betrayal, instead of a crying, weak mess like he is so often characterized. The dream in the first chapter was a nice touch.
And Duo's hilarious, a stubborn best friend, just what Quatre needs... So when do we get to see Heero? (I love 1x2x1).
I can't wait to see Quatre's reaction when Trowa enters the picture (since he's obviously not over him), and how Trowa feels about it all...
Update soon! |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: July 18, 2003 03:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
Glad to see that Quatre, although dealing with the betrayal in a rather unusual way, isn't falling apart at the seams.
Duo is hysterical. Love his persistence and his bugging the HELL out of Quat.
Nice internal reflections on Quatre's part, with his "once upon a time" crush on Trowa still obviously on his mind. |
Reviewed By: MookieNH [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2003 19:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
I liked the way you added the dream sequence into the story. Sometimes the subconscious knows best, and I found it amusing that he was struggling with the eye and hair color in his dream. Most telling, though, dream aside, is how he started to slip as he reminded himself who he really loved.
I think the story has potential. Yes, there were a few typos or spelling errors or wrong words, but nothing as bad as I expected from your intro. I've been a beta reader for two writers...for one, I volunteered, and the other asked if I'd mind doing it. Some authors have posted requests for one in their intro paragraph. That's about the extent of what I know about "finding" a beta reader. At present, I have the time to do so if you're interested, although things may change this fall.
I was glad to see Quatre immediately summon Rashid to have Ryan summarily removed from the premises. He can always nurse his heartache later, but I was glad to see that he didn't fall apart. Sometimes the anger is what keeps someone going!
The listing of pairings at the beginning caught my attention as well...a brief interlude of Duo and Quatre, eh? I always thought those two would be good for each other, whether as close friends or something more, and I look forward to seeing how you handle their relationship in the interim. |
Reviewed By: Garner [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2003 00:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
Ooooo... 'The S*** Hits the Fan' is right! This looks to have potential for much yumminess! |
Reviewed By: Flash On: July 09, 2003 17:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
oooh Quatre's pissed. Really good! I'm guessing Trowa's coming into the story soon? UPDATE! |
Reviewed By: MissyIrene On: July 25, 2003 16:55 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
The plot thickens. ^_~ Can't wait to read more, update again soon. |
Reviewed By: MissyIrene On: July 18, 2003 16:42 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Great fic so far. I love how you write (bitchy) Quatre, its a riot. ^_~ Anyway can't wait to read more so please update again soon. ^_^ |
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