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| "Love's No Secret" Reviews/Comments [ 13 ] | Reviewed By: sayuriran [MediaMiner Member] On: February 16, 2006 21:55 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I enjoyed the fiction, I really did. I just have one major problem that made it hard for me to keep reading. Isabella is a man. Referring to him as a she disturbs me, but hey, whatever works for you. It just really kind of bothered me because I have a personal peeve about things like that. ( You should have seen me when I saw Ziosite turned into a female on Sailor Moon dubbed episodes! ) Overall, good fic! A beta could clear up the little mistakes, so no worries there!
| Reviewed By: tky On: July 29, 2005 04:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
i've always wanted a george/isabella fic! please update!!!!!!!
| Reviewed By: Ephemeral Eloquence [MediaMiner Member] On: March 29, 2005 22:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Although the more fangirlish-types will defend the fic its flaws and imperfections, I'll still agree with those reviewers who offered the critique you're entitled to from your reviews. I enjoyed this, agreeing it would make a fine enough one-shot piece, but planning chapters is also fine and I'll look forward to them. This is my favorite ParaKiss pairing, and you did them justice, which I thank you for. It's been difficult finding ParaKiss fanfiction, especially George/Isabella, so I'm very glad my first find was one as nice as this. Please keep up the good work, and also think about looking into a proof/beta-reader just for a second opinion. They are God-sents for any writer.
| Reviewed By: Jezebel On: February 09, 2005 01:01 CST
Comment/Review:
That was a LOVELY first chapter! Really it wouldn't even need the last two if you screwed around with the first one (please don't) I CAN'T wait for the next chapters! It's to bad this relationship is doomed to end... although it could start up again when they're in london*shrug* Anyway, keep up the good work! P.s. I laughed so much when I read those nitpicky posts that were pointing out EVERY SINGLE GRAMATICAL ERROR (most of which didn't even matterXD)
| Title: ^_^
Reviewed By: cookiemonster [MediaMiner Member] On: December 02, 2004 19:08 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i really liked it.i hate to write reviews (i no, mean) but i liked it alot and had to write one for u. keep up the good work and i cant wait for future chapters. ~~Cookie
| Reviewed By: toasterwoman360 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 21, 2004 19:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
not bad. update soon!
| Title: very good
Reviewed By: AnimeALLday [MediaMiner Member] On: July 30, 2004 11:12 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
first of all, that person the just reviwed...uh forgivemelord...well, Im just saying that a story doesnt have to be perfect when you post it up on the internet and as long as people can understand what's going on, the grammar doesnt matter to me. Anyways, I love this fic and I LOOOVEEEEE paradise kiss. And I was kind of wondering why you kept calling isabella a she even though he's a he. Oh well I guess it's your opinion to what you want to call him. I still consider him a he. yeah and please update!!! you left me hanging at the end
| Reviewed By: Lina Inverse [MediaMiner Member] On: May 16, 2004 23:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like the story. It's very emotional and it's so....... Isabella...... I will point out a few nitpicky flaws, so that your fic can become even better: "She said clutching the dress close to her chest." She said, clutching the dress close to her chest." "She stared at her and George's reflection" This is a little awkward. Maybe "She stared at the reflection of herself and George" would be a little more clear. "She hugged herself tightly, feeling comfortable in the dress that he'd made her with his own hands. A dress that was made for no one else, just her" This also is a little unclear and repetitive, although it is technically grammatically correct. Maybe "She hugged herself tightly, feeling comfortable in the dress George had made with his own hands. The dress made for no one else in the world." That would be a little more clear and less wordy without taking away any of the meaning and emphasis.
| Title: Oh! How sweet!
Reviewed By: DugFinn [MediaMiner Member] On: February 01, 2004 16:44 CST
Comment/Review:
Please continue! It's great! Even the way George acts is perfect! I'd love to keep reading this!
| Title: Awwwwww!!!
Reviewed By: Kapt. Nemo [MediaMiner Member] On: November 18, 2003 20:15 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
All I can say is, a rose by any other name would never smell as sweet as this... How precious! The pairing isn't something I would've thought of, but you made it work well, I think. Great Job, even if you left it there!
| Reviewed By: Yohki On: September 29, 2003 14:44 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Wow... that was really good! Keep it up, please!
| Reviewed By: Pareathe [MediaMiner Member] On: July 28, 2003 22:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, the critical stuff first:
Like the reviewer before me, there was some grammar and spelling mistakes (though I disagree with a couple of the correction offered), but overall I thought it wasn't bad at all from a technical standpoint. It's definitely nothing a good beta reader couldn't double-check for you, and nothing that I felt detracted from the story.
With that out of the way, the critique:
I thought this was a lovely beginning for a story. I think you portrayed George spot-on, and the insight in Isabella's feelings for him was very bittersweet. The analogy she used in comparing George to the rose was beautiful, and to have it reappear at the end of the chapter was a wonderful image to leave us with.
The emotion was strong and well told, from George's reaction to the realization of her feelings to Isabella's critical eye when looking at her male face in the mirror after taking off her makeup.
I'm eagerly awaiting an update to see how you proceed; you've done a wonderful job so far. ^_^
Pareathe | Reviewed By: forgivemelord On: July 15, 2003 14:56 CDT
Comment/Review:
A present from George, was not an uncommon thing but Isabella was sucker for romance.
A present from George was not an uncommon thing, , Isabella was a sucker for romance.
Isabella giggled standing holding the dress up to her as they both gazed in the mirror at her reflection.
Isabella giggled, standing holding the dress up to her as they both gazed in the mirror at her reflection.
He turned around two glasses of wine resting in each palm,...
He turned around with(?) two glasses of wine resting in each palm...
Isabella sat elegantly on the chair, looking more sophisticated then any other woman could
Isabella sat elegantly on the chair, looking more sophisticated than any other woman could
The suns rays warmly
The sun's rays warmly
They walked through slowly, not speaking just admiring the vibrant colors and fragrances that surrounded them. George leant against a tall willow tree as Isabella knelt to look a particularly gorgeous rose that had bloomed such a shade of pink that it seemed it stuck out from all the rest.
They walked through slowly, not speaking, just admiring the vibrant colors and fragrances that surrounded them. George leaned |
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