| "Forgiven Mistakes" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] |
Reviewed By: Mei_kouhai_kitsune [MediaMiner Member] On: November 11, 2005 14:33 CST
Comment/Review:
That was soo cute,Im crying thatwas cute,.aww the wet tears of happiness lol
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Reviewed By: R_Winner [MediaMiner Member] On: July 27, 2004 03:29 CDT
Comment/Review:
I warn you this will be kind of harsh...Well, it's a bit short for starters and your grammar and spelling need a bit of work. Also there was no plot flow and you changed the characters personalities too quichly, nothing really flowed. I like the concept but you need to have it BETAed.
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Reviewed By: Misaki-chan On: July 29, 2003 02:43 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 2 of 10 Comment/Review:
This fic. . was to quick paced. You confused the spellings of both 'Kuroune' and 'Koenma'. And the grammar was way out of whack. Overall enjoyment was slim to none. and Hiei is way to manly to cry. Maybe bitch and moan then threaten to take Kurama and/or Kuroune's life but most deffinetly, most deffinetly, not cry. Concider revising this for sure.
Ja Ne,
Misaki-chan |
Reviewed By: nightkiller On: July 15, 2003 18:48 CDT
Comment/Review:
the story itself is completely random, its too fast paced. it jumps from one to another. there is really no plot and hiei and kurama are totally out of charecter. anywayz, good luck next time... |
Reviewed By: nyaoki On: July 15, 2003 13:36 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 1 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 4 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
there were a LOT of out-of-character things (I can't see Hiei sobbing and running off) in this fic, and you need to work on your punctuation and capitalization. |
Reviewed By: TheBlackRose On: July 15, 2003 13:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
This fic had a good plot. But just as Nyaoki said, Hiei was kinda out of character. He wouldn't cry in front of anyone, and probably wouldn't forgive Kurama so quickly. The fic seemed kind of rushed... I still think it was good but, try to work on keeping them in character. |
