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| "A Meeting of Minds" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: DarkLight [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2005 18:06 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is totally awesome!! I absolutely love this story you've created. There were a few grammatical errors here and there, but everyone does that. I really like the different points of view you provide. It keeps the reader guessing. I also like all of the little relationships going on. I don't think you need to change a thing. I didn't find it confusing or anything in the least. Overall, very unique and written very well. I like reading an intelligent story every now and then.
| Reviewed By: Paul C. Heintz On: December 16, 2003 07:28 CST
Comment/Review:
Pretty good. Now nearly all the various interests have been made known. -I don't think Haruka was acting that far out of character, though perhaps just a little. One thing though, it had to be her. This scene would have been really bad if you tried it with Micheru acting this way though. If done with Pluto it would have been potentially devistating to Ami. -I think you probably should have had a bit more on Pluto's thoughts of the Hotaru/Chibi thoughts, not her thoughts on the consequences to the timestream, though that was important to be in character, but her thoughts on how it affected her emotionally as a woman. This would have set the stage better for the Ami thing to come, even if you did not state exactly what went on between them. -I'm not so certain I would have had Pluto leave Hotaru behind and go like the other outers, at least not without more of a explanation to her. -I think it important that Ami was found by Haruka, and it will now come to them to pick up the pieces. How well they are recieved by her will partially depend on exactly what occured. I would rather it be them than Minako. Minako, in my opinion, for all her self proclaimed abilities is not the one to put this back together.
| Reviewed By: Paul C. Heintz On: December 06, 2003 18:49 CST
Comment/Review:
Hm, that wasn't too bad, kind of nice, overall, though have the following comments: -While I myself don't care about a Hotaru/Chibi-Usa match, I don't care either way if I see it in a fic or not. However, it seems odd there was no real build up for it. You've gone to a lot of trouble to show all the different character interactions. If you had shown a Minako/Makoto or a Rei/Usagi that would have made more sense, since you've shown the others noticing indications for such. -The viewpoint seems to be from the two outers more than the others. Prior chapters had more from a Ami or Setsuna view as well, even if it was not neccesarily on their own relationhip. -You could have shown Setsuna reactions while rubbing the lotion on Ami. -Finally, outside the rooms, you made a comment that something seemed off when that person viewed Setsuna next to Ami, yet did not comment further on.
| Reviewed By: Karibanu On: October 14, 2003 11:43 CDT
Comment/Review:
Still loving this! The interaction between the Senshi in the flashback in chapter 8 ( the older ones ) is a little confusing, as I couldn't remember who some of them actually were and had to refer back up the chapter, which spoiled the flow rather. Maybe put their titles in place of their names once or twice.
| Reviewed By: Sky_Goddess [MediaMiner Member] On: July 29, 2003 03:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
ooooooh....keep this one going i want to see what happens... |
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