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| "Timid Eyes" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Reviewed By: faerie On: August 24, 2003 13:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really liked this fic. You should ignore the rude person who wrote the earlier review. I would like to see another chapter for this story. Also, the person should not have presumed Ayame to be gay. I have seen the anime about 50 times and have collected much of the manga. Ayame always seemed to me to be a an "anything goes" kind of guy, male or female. I didn't find this story to be immature at all and I like reading different pairings in fics. You should write what you want and based on what you know. Perhaps other people should remember that fanfiction is for fun and fantasy and should remember that other people's creativity is just as important as their own. Anyway, I'll be hoping to see more of this story and others by the same author.
Peace. | Reviewed By: Akari On: August 03, 2003 03:38 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
I knew I should have stopped reading after the first few sentences.
My bad.
Generally when I leave a review, it's constructive criticism. I try to help the author to do better... but really.
The problem with this, was it was just so grossly OOC it made me sick. (there were other problems but this is the one that sticks out in my mind the most)
You're either writing an AU here or have never seen/read Furuba.
Maybe you're just too young to understand certain things. Such as the fact that Ayame's gay. ( I'm not even going to START on the whole Tohru being a slut thing)
Why would you want to take such a beautiful character and ruin him like that? Unless you just somehow managed to miss that little fact there.
Though it's blantantly obvious.
But, even if I assume this is an AU... it's just bad.
You should not itch, during sex!
Do they all have STD's!?
Does Tohru have a yeast infection!?
I think this needs a follow up where they all go have Hatori check them out.
Any actual critiquing I could have done for this was pushed out the window by it's sheer rediculousness.
Please, if you're going to continue to write things like this, label it accordingly.
AU, OOC etc etc. and you might want to wait until you're a bit more mature before you write another lemon. |
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