| "Violation" Reviews/Comments [ 18 ] |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
Reviewed By: Sinu-Yasha On: July 31, 2003 15:46 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I LOVED IT. I LIKE THE WAY YOU MADE KAKARROT'S CHARACTER. MAYBE YOU CAN THINK ABOUT CONTINUING THIS FIC. |
Reviewed By: Sara On: July 31, 2003 20:20 CDT
Comment/Review:
If I was in you I would continue this story telling us of the dark life of Bulma as the prince's whore. I would let Vegeta being affectionate to her and yet treating her in the same way she treated her in this chap which means he wouldn't be all kawai and cuteness but a manipulative master who had no problem in beating her or giving her to others just to keep it different from the others fics in which Vegeta treat her like a princess.
You could also develop what Bulma's life is like in her new status, how people behave around her, what they're allowed to do to her and what no and which rules she've to respect.
You can have Vegeta trying to broke her more and Bulma plotting for revenge or escape... or have her submit fully and enjoy the things he does to her...
This short story is filled with interesting aspects which can be developed! I really hope you will continue it! |
Reviewed By: Vega On: July 31, 2003 20:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
Continue this please! It's good to see finally an original story! |
| Pages (2): [ « ‹ 1 2 ] |
