| "Mine Now and Always" Reviews/Comments [ 11 ] |
Reviewed By: katt_jam On: November 08, 2004 03:33 CST
Comment/Review:
OMG you haven't updated since feb 2004!! please update this story soon, it is soooo good. I can't wait to read more.
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Reviewed By: Panthera On: October 05, 2003 00:45 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really enjoyed your story and honestly i think u could improve it, you just have such a possibility to make this story one of the best. I really think you should take a time out (for like a week) of writting and read some fanfictions (on fanfiction.net) it would be better if they were R. you can just im me at: Spacegirlval and i would more than happily help you because I know u have great potential. keep up the good work and P.S. this is not a flame just a form of advice because I do like ur story. ~Panthera~
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Reviewed By: angelbabe17 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 18, 2003 23:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
yeh its me again...sry to b a nag but um isnt sesshomaru spelled w/o 2 h's? n naraku is spelled wrong a lot..o n heir as in heir to the throne is not spelled like hair...if u fixed the grammar n spelling this story would b even better =) |
Reviewed By: angelbabe17 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 18, 2003 23:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
cute story but lots of grammer n spelling mistakes |
Reviewed By: Grammar Fairy On: August 05, 2003 01:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
Oh yes, and I forgot to mention, you have a lot of tense inconsistancies. You use past tense and present tense interchangably. This is bad grammar.
Present tense is writen as if happening at the prestent time, ie "She is walking across the room."
Past tense would be "She walked across them room."
Past tense is more commonly use in narratives. Choose one or the other, never mix the two. |
Reviewed By: Grammar Fairy On: August 05, 2003 01:10 CDT
Comment/Review:
"your the hair" should be "you're the heir" Check your spelling and grammar.
For reference...
"You're" means "you are"
"Your" is a possesive
"It's" means "It is"
"Its" is a possesive
"There" as in "over there"
"Their" is a possesive
"They're" means "They are"
I hope that helps. |
Reviewed By: Babsie On: August 04, 2003 23:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
So cute until now.
I would like to see how Inuyasha will make Kagome fall for him...and...of course...the mating time :-)
keep writing. |
Reviewed By: Miss_Marilyn69 [MediaMiner Member] On: August 04, 2003 21:41 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
that was cute *pretends to be shy* I hope you write some more soon...lol that last part was to cute |
Reviewed By: Kithkin On: August 04, 2003 14:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
Neat idea, well written, just one little detail I have to pick on. Sesshoumaru's mate is going to have a pub? Inuyasha is an insolent pub? Do you mean "pup" in both these cases, as in short for "puppy," or are you attempting to instigate a new breed of youkai: sexy men, incredible fighters, and well loved drinking establishments ;)
Aside from that, I really enjoyed your story and would encourage you to keep at it. |
Reviewed By: luna_night [MediaMiner Member] On: August 04, 2003 09:31 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey whats shakin?
it makes me wonder what is up with these people not reviewing..i think your story is really cool..i like the idea even though it isnt origional..no offense..i think it is well written and well planned out which several stories today lack. i wish you best of luck and have a great day..
ja ne
luna |
Reviewed By: Runishie [MediaMiner Member] On: August 04, 2003 03:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
This fanfic is really interesting it is also keeping me awake enough to read it that's when you know it's good. |
