| "Life's Marionette" Reviews/Comments [ 4 ] |
Reviewed By: greencat325 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 13, 2012 15:13 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Comment/Review:
i really injoyed it up untill when you put your own OC in it. i found her unbarbly innoying bitchy and hyperactive, in my opioion she had way too much on her. the basic plot i like and the male pregnacy is aproved in my book. i would accually like it if you rewrote the story without useing that oc. perhaps knives send leggato out to spy on vash and then he may explain to the viewers how this happens. OC's in a fanfiction are best kept to being very minor "one shot" sorta people |
Title: The Sultan of Swing
Reviewed By: CM On: February 13, 2005 14:41 EST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
This reads like a checklist of what to do wrong with Trigun. You have Wolfwood and Vash acting so out of character that you could slap another name on them and they'd be unrecongizable. It's MPREG which in itself is always horrible and biologically impossible. (If you want to write a story about somebody pregant, why not use a woman?) You've stuck random Japanese intoa fandom where Japanese is a deal langauge. The japanese culture is pretty much gone in Trigun. maybe rei-Dei might say a few words, but he's the only one. You've messed with vash's origin. You've even stuck a Mary Sue into the story. (do a google search if you don't know what a mary Sue is.) At least most horrible Out of Character Yaoi fics don't have Mary Sues.
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Title: the best
Reviewed By: Runishie [MediaMiner Member] On: November 06, 2003 23:25 EST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is the best male on Male story I've ever read and I think yu should update and are Aya and Knives Fucking does the girl look like knives but i'm sure she's vash's and woldwood's child I wonder what growing up will be like for her with her two misfits as dads.
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Reviewed By: Kimbo On: September 01, 2003 23:13 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey there...^^; Popped in via the Yahoo! Trigun yaoi list...=D
Interesting fic, so far. But (and this is not a flame, more of a CC!) it seems to be all over the place. o_o; I find it a little hard to follow, (how did Knives appear?) and spelling and grammar mistakes distract it. You seemed to want to further the plot faster than the readers can make sense of.
I like the ideas behind it, and it does have a lot of potential so I'mma willing to offer my services of beta reader (I used to do that for Stargate fandom) and help you improve, go through and tidy up the format/spelling and so forth.
Email:ds9wolfie@yahoo.com.au |
