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| "Revelation Legata" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: Hotspur [MediaMiner Member] On: November 12, 2003 00:03 CST
Comment/Review:
Well, you don't have a whole lot posted yet so I couldn't find much to comment on except some very general things. You seem to have an interesting idea here. It's not inconceivable to me that Knives would create a clone of Legato - or at least have a replacement waiting in the wings - considering what he had planned for him all along. However, I think a little more needs to go into the story's development. I don't really know anything about Legata from what you've written. Not why she's in love with Wolfwood (I know, who wouldn't be, but still...), nor why Wolfwood's in love with her, nor what they're doing travelling around in the desert. A little suspence is good in a case like this, but your story would still be vastly improved if you made me care a little more about Legata before throwing her in bed with Wolfwood. Hell, the sex would probably even be hotter. I hope you don't mind constructive crit, but I could only bring myself to be honest. I think that with a little work, this can be good.
| Title: psh
Reviewed By: Catesith18 (on ff.net) On: November 11, 2003 23:57 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
It seems that you're concentrating more on making it raunchy than making it likeable. Your fic is very Mary Sue. I seriously can't even count the number of fics I've read with this sort of plot. Original character is created by science, pairs up with a canon character, has to fight their own battle. Et cetera et cetera. Besides, your writing is too to-the-point. Do you really think 'Legata' would easily be so sweet to Wolfwood? If she really is conflicted as you have her appear to be, I think she would be more of an individual, an 'accept me for who I am' kind of person than a 'let me ooze lovey-dovey affection all over you'. Also, try to concentrate more on the plot and less on her breasts. FYI, you don't seem to understand how bras are measured. The number has nothing to do with the cup, it has to do with the width of the torso. A 38D is no skinny little lady.
| Reviewed By: tinytoonz [MediaMiner Member] On: October 07, 2003 18:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
PLEASE FINISH THIS FIC.!!!! UPDATE UPDATE as soon as you have the time. pretty please with sugar on top!! ;_; update. P.S. if you haven't noticed i luv your fic. ^_^
| Reviewed By: LegataBringerOfDeath [MediaMiner Member] On: September 21, 2003 21:57 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thank you so much Wolfie! -clings to him and kisses-
| Title: Great
Reviewed By: Jimmy (Wolfwood) On: September 21, 2003 21:49 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I belive that this is great work for the fact that its an intersting concept
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