| "The Reikai Tantei's Yu Yu Hakusho" Reviews/Comments [ 15 ] |
Reviewed By: Na (draechaeli) On: July 13, 2005 01:16 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I think it should have taken more to get Hiei drunk. but anyways he's an adorable drunk! I like the whole twisted clown thing, makes me want to tickle Hiei... ::giggles:: (sorry too early to think english, too much german in head... lol I wasn't going to sleep till I got to the last chap of the fic, feel special). I would laugh if he was a sleep at a caranival. well update soon please. Nighty night ~Na
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Reviewed By: darkflame On: March 27, 2004 14:49 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
you have got to update! this fic is so good! please (gets on knees) i'm begging you. you must update!!!
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Reviewed By: Blood Mistress [MediaMiner Member] On: January 30, 2004 21:15 CST
Comment/Review:
Please update soon! I love it! [Hm, I need to have my koi Stardust read this.] Bye!
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Title: Reikai Tantei's YYH
Reviewed By: AuAgHgChemist [MediaMiner Member] On: January 05, 2004 23:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hello: You seem generally interested in critique, so I will give you my personal opinion. Since I read up to Harlequin Chapter 2 all in one sitting, it must be noted that your writing style has steadily and greatly improved. Keep at it, please. I don't know whether or not some of the words and puncuation get lost in the upload or not, but some are missing. A re-edit of the first chapters would be nice, if you have time. Also, please consider editing your spelling a bit better. I find when I am reading a really good story and having caught the rythmn, quite literally mentally tripping over spelling (and glaring syntext errors ie tense switching) makes me lose the rythmn and sometimes the story line. I am more the concrete grammar/spelling/sentence structure type of critic, especially when the story is great. Keep writing. I enjoyed this. OH yes, one last thing, yoai scenes, I do agree they should be drawn a bit more. But then again much of that kind of angsty touchie/feelie writing depends much on the author's personality, preference, and of course, either good research or "expereince". Just don't fake it, either elude to it and let the readers imagine it or get a detailed formula that works. Best advice I can give there. (I have a tendency to chuckle when Hiei and Kurama get into impossible positions.) JRP PS NightLightFairy is a gem of reviewer. (thumbs up)
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Reviewed By: Talia On: December 06, 2003 22:40 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I absolutely loved your story! You have to finish it! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! I like the whole thing with Yo-mawari. I just became a member; KitsuneLover but it wont let me sign on so i had to do another name. Sorry. Great job. See ya
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Reviewed By: dragonfoxloversforever [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2003 14:19 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love this and hurry with another update!! I really want more soon!!
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Reviewed By: Yo-ma [MediaMiner Member] On: December 05, 2003 10:37 CST
Comment/Review:
It's me need to check reviews!
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Reviewed By: Yo-ma [MediaMiner Member] On: November 24, 2003 18:46 CST
Comment/Review:
Checking on something ok?
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Reviewed By: dragonfoxloversforever [MediaMiner Member] On: November 23, 2003 21:46 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please update soon!! I need more!!
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Reviewed By: dragonfoxloversforever [MediaMiner Member] On: November 20, 2003 07:44 CST
Comment/Review:
This is soo goood!! Add more soon please!!!
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Reviewed By: darkashura On: November 17, 2003 00:24 CST
Comment/Review:
Night Light Fairy no one is perfect.
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Reviewed By: Night Light Fairy [MediaMiner Member] On: November 16, 2003 15:28 CST
Comment/Review:
My issues for Chapter 4! AN explantion for who 'Wari' would be great! You said he is Youko Kurama's brother, but just how this can about? And you really need to tinhk about putting in something that stands for a scene or location change! Really Badly! The people that read this will get confused really easy if you don't do something about that! And just what happened to Hiei's and Kurama's relationship with each other? That's kinda confusing to! ~Night Light Fairy
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Reviewed By: Night Light Fairy [MediaMiner Member] On: November 16, 2003 15:03 CST
Comment/Review:
Ok! My issues for Chapter 3!You really should make some kind of glossery for all the Japanese terms you used! I didn't know half of them! A key for saying when the Japanese words go into English would be a good idea! I'll review every chapter that I find something in it that I don't agree with or don't like or some advice! ~N.L.F
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Reviewed By: Night Light Fairy [MediaMiner Member] On: November 16, 2003 14:34 CST
Comment/Review:
Ok It's me, again! I only have two problems this time! One is that when Yusuke said, "Jesus" That would be incorrect for the Japanese religion. The correct term would be Kami-sama. No, not the Kami in Dragonball Z. This, to the Japanese, is god. Same goes for the other problem I have! YOu don't use the word God or Jesus! You use Kami-sama for humans! But the Fox god that Kurama would pray to would be Inari-sama. ~Night Light Fairy
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Reviewed By: Night Light Fairy [MediaMiner Member] On: November 16, 2003 11:02 CST
Comment/Review:
0.0` OK. You got the character mixed up, somewhat. The personalities where...off. Something to tell the readers that there is a scene change would be nice. And telling us when there would be some years put between the last typed sentence would be nice. I've only read once in a fanfic where earing were used in bonding. Usuall it's just(if your typing what you are)the tear gem would be used in a neakles. And some bitting to leave scars to show other yoakais that, that demon was already a mate with someone else. Yeah...just to say that you kinda skruied up is what I'm saying. The fellings themselves were going much to fast for normal. The fighting scene was to fast and boring. To catch the readers attention you need to drag things out longer. Like the lime scene you wrote. Now I'm used to reading lemons done by Tori, and Rose Thorne, and Virago. But for a beginner that was...ok. But I've only read Chapter 1 so...That's the only advice I can give you! ~Night Light Fairy
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