Reviewed By: Broken Visage [MediaMiner Member] On: September 09, 2004 21:53 CDT
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
The grammar errors really stood out, so I figured I would inform you of the most common errors. The first is captalization in dialogue; the first word said is treated as a new sentence, i.e. He asked, "Where to now?" or "Where to now?" he asked. In second was punctuation. Commas after such phrases as "he said" and after introductory words such as "yes," "no," "sorry," and so on; ending punctuation goes inside quotes with the exception of this case: Did he really ask, "Where's the car"? Then, of course, was your problem with tense. You kept switching from present tense to past, which can confuse readers and generally makes the prose appear sloppy. Too, there were spelling errors, but those are easily remedied without having to know grammar rules. Oh, almost left this out: "..." is when the sentence continues, but you leave out what is understood. If it's at the end of a sentence, you use 4 periods, such as with, "If that bomb goes off with us in here...." Okay, other than that, I guess it's alright. The characters seem a little young, though.
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