| "Like Snow Upon A Raven's Back" Reviews/Comments [ 8 ] |
Reviewed By: ur mom On: April 19, 2004 20:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
hey i just finished the whole fic and its awsome!! u soooo should make a seque!!!!
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Title: I'm not an expert
Reviewed By: jarjayes On: April 09, 2004 08:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 3 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
okay, here I go. I haven't read the last chapter yet, I just want to critique this chapter, though. Alright, I'm going to start by saying that I'm not an expert in writing love scenes, I myself, usually try to avoid them, but I do notice that you do need some work on them. The narration in this chapter wasn't at all that smooth. You often say Kagome did this, Kagome did that...Miroku penetrated Kagome as Kagome moaned in excitement, no,it's not what you wrote but I'm giving you an example on how you should employ more pronouns, replacing Miroku with he and Kagome with she...the other thing, when it does come to writing a heated scene, you want your readers to live the experience with the characters...you are not really doing that here. How do I say it? for example, as I was reading the desciptions, I was into it until you cut off its fluidity to then start again. Remember, its all about rythym and tempo...smoothness. this was a quicky. I don't know about the practice of sex but I've seen enough movies and read enough things to at least get an idea on how it should be done. I know, it's a very tricky thing to write about. If you really want an idea, read more romance novels and at least, get an idea of the structure and the style and develop your own. Now, I did love their encounter in the forest. That one was REALLY well done!If you would have continued with that same rythym for the next chapter, it would have been perfect.
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Reviewed By: R_Winner [MediaMiner Member] On: March 13, 2004 22:34 CST
Comment/Review:
*cackle* I am greatly amused! Miroku x Kagome rulz!
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Reviewed By: Jadeblueafterglow On: December 29, 2003 01:41 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I would be drawn back to miroku too! Damn that Kagome...shes lucky!
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Reviewed By: Tye Knight On: December 27, 2003 18:15 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this fanfic is amazing u really dhould make a sequal it will make me happy Miroku&Kagome are so cute together
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Title: WAI!
Reviewed By: Ongaku [MediaMiner Member] On: December 27, 2003 17:31 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
OMG! I LOVE YOU.....r FIC!! hehe Ok I love you to hehe. ^^ OK that made my day, now I can go on leaving in peace mwhahaha. Great job! *glomps* p.s. I'm putting this review on ff.net as well ^^; so if you see it twice... er yeah...
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Reviewed By: rabidinugirl On: December 26, 2003 12:19 CST
Comment/Review:
good lemon
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Reviewed By: Dreaming_Girl [MediaMiner Member] On: December 25, 2003 16:00 CST
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Miroku/Kagome? It's different but good. You should make a sequel.
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