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| "Go No Konoha" Reviews/Comments [ 57 ] | | Pages (4): [ « ‹ 1 2 3 4 › » ] | Reviewed By: Zerotolerance On: October 14, 2004 14:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
AWESOME story,MORE updates LONGER chapters.Hey check this out instead of making them master a lot of bloodlines make them combine three blood lines in one for example,kyuubi's eyes,sharingan and byakugan and you'll have slitted red eyes with FOUR dots the fourth dot representing the byakugan,you could for example see a jutsu and they master it instantly only they won't have to do hand seals.But you make guys out there that are 10 times better than them.And instead of tsukiyomi they'll have (i read this in a fic ones)the ability hell wich makes their minds go to a hell world where they're tortured by demons and you'll have nine levels like in a real hell.Or you could make up different abilities the eyes will have.I think it would be cool if you added Ranma 1/2 to your story say he was tricked by the NWC and they try to send him to hell but they fuck up as usual and send him to Naruto world as a 12 year old (that's the age they are at beginning of the anime wright) where he joins the jutsu gang and in return he offers to teach them about the Anything Goes school of Martial arts and he teaches them of the uses of Ki (body energy),i think it would be cool if you make thwm learn elemental ki,basically turning you Ki into one of the elements (ice,fire,wind,lightning etc. etc. Later on you could make the Nerima wrecking crew find out that Ranma wasn't really send to hell and they want to go to the Naruto world to try kill him.Or you could make him 'temporarily'go back by a jutsu and | Title: Sweet
Reviewed By: DrakeDragon On: October 03, 2004 21:03 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
This is a kick ass story. i like it, but try to keep the charicters more themselfs. It would kick ass if naruto got a few more blood limit. but have them a little bit more hard to learn. otherwise cool ass fanfic
| Title: Review: Jutsu Gang
Reviewed By: stormraven [MediaMiner Member] On: September 17, 2004 20:34 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Love your story! First encountered it on ff.net and it was a great read. Just, you haven't updated in a while. You left off at a good cliffhanger, and I'm sure other people are wanting to read more as much as me. I haven't encountered any other fic that has the same premise as you, and I read A LOT of fics. Hope to see more soon, Stormraven
| Reviewed By: kage_no_tenshi On: September 09, 2004 00:16 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
Hey, great job. I really like this fanfic, you seem to have done wonderfully. (Okay, so I admit it. I'm a sucker for stories where Naruto's not the idiot he makes everyone believe he is.)I'm going to keep an eye on this one, considering that I'd be the idiot to let this one go and not make sure I can find it again. Meh... please update! XD Well... whenever you have time. ^_^
| Reviewed By: Shinyu On: September 01, 2004 13:35 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Excellent fic, and i'm telling you likr you asked to put chaps 3-6 up :P
| Title: [i]The[/i] Doku
Reviewed By: Doku_Himora On: August 29, 2004 00:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Overall I thought it was pretty good, you made all the characters way cool and slightly out of charicter mainly Naruto, but you also made some of the other strong characters seem weak like Kakashi. One thing that was slightly annoying to me is that you spelled Jounin, Junin though i'm not positive it is actully spelled Jounin cause Inane spells it Juunin O.o who knows. I also think you should explain your how Naruto and the gang learn the Bloodline techs. Not much is known about them in the first place but it would seem like they're called "Bloodline" because they're passed throught the blood.. maybe i'm wrong but eh. Anyway keep up the exelent work and if you could as a request from me (like that matters ~.~) could you get either Itachi or Gaara in the story? And maybe kill off unwanted characters in a mission or something coughsasukecough
| Reviewed By: Dragon's Shadow On: August 25, 2004 19:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is great plz update soon.
| Reviewed By: kurai_kodoku On: August 25, 2004 18:33 CDT
Comment/Review:
Browsing mm.org and wow...Yay!! An update to your rewrite... Though there are some mistakes. "Slumping slightly Naruto still felt the energy continue to poor out of him." It's pour...not poor. And throughout the fic you spelt ramen as raman...It's ramen... I like the part where Naruto states it's not working as a team that is not the problem but his team is the problem. I have to agree since I really don't like Sasuke and Sakura that much. I still like the scene with the shadows and Naruto's true emotions shown in his eyes. Glad you still have it in there. Huh, One part I read..."It's almost scary to think of it. He smirked slightly, and started toward the..(and that's all, got cut off or something)" Besides that, once again, glad you updated. *glares* But you have a lot more to do. LoL. Well until then. Hope my review was helpful...
| Reviewed By: Gopu On: August 25, 2004 17:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
looking forward to more.
| Reviewed By: ruinmew On: August 16, 2004 17:54 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Update,Update,Update, it rocks!!!
| Reviewed By: ruinmew On: August 15, 2004 13:21 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
its good, it puts what i could come up with to shame
| Reviewed By: Wolfstein [MediaMiner Member] On: July 28, 2004 20:22 CDT
Comment/Review:
Please continue soon, this is a good story.
| Title: Great,, but not as good as it could be...
Reviewed By: Stizzo [MediaMiner Member] On: July 02, 2004 16:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay okay... You've got a cool story going here. However, there are a few minor things that kind of bug me. First of all, the Five don't really act like they do normally. I understand that they are supposed to be different when they are alone, but they really don't seem to have any sort of sembelance to their canon characters. Like Naruto seems too subdued, even when he is putting up his "facade". It makes me wonder why people think he's a screw-up at all, really, because he pulls off some pretty nifty trick during class and in the face of some ANBU members. To fix this, you could make Naruto more of a hybrid of his old self. Like keep him hyper and enthusiastic, but he lets his intelligence and strength show. And you could make Shikamaru be the brains of the group, seeing as he has a 200+ IQ. Stuff like that. The group you are presenting to me is just too different from their normal character to be able to really identify with them. It's like you chose a completely new group of characters and stuck the names to them. Also, the Byakugan is the Hyuuga family blood limit. Only a Hyuuga would be able to learn it, because it's not really "learned". It's passed through the genes. I'm puzzled as to how 5 academy students could master such a technique, especially with no Hyuuga to show them. Okay, I know I spent all this time telling you what is wrong with this fic, but I actually do like it (see ratings). You can IM me or e-mail me if you need help with anything.
| Reviewed By: Dragon 89 On: June 22, 2004 09:38 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
This was a great chapter. Are you going to keep posting on ff.net? Plz update soon.
| Reviewed By: Phsycobratt [MediaMiner Member] On: June 20, 2004 23:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is cool. The jutsu gang, lol, that's funny. Anyway, plz update soon.
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