| "The Journey Home" Reviews/Comments [ 84 ] |
| Pages (6): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 6 > » ] |
Reviewed By: RabidFan [MediaMiner Member] On: July 17, 2004 00:46 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Auugghhhh!!! This is so good please update!!!--RabidFan
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Reviewed By: CSHayden On: July 15, 2004 08:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
I've been enjoying this story quite a bit since I discovered it in a websearch. Your writing is strongest when you stick with one character throughout a scene -- when you start jumping into everybody's heads for their POVs (like that scene with all the Sohmas in the waiting room), it gets VERY confusing. This is a common beginner's writing quirk that most people get over as they write more. You can fix this by remembering: Show, don't tell. Make the reader part of the action -- don't tell them what what's going on, SHOW them. I really like the interaction between Kyo and Tohru -- they're perfectly in character and believable as their older selves. Akito is positively creepy -- I'm sort of looking forward to seeing what you do with him. Fortunately, Kyo & Tohru's child won't be part of the Zodiac (I read somewhere that there can only be one person with that particular Zodiac curse at a time -- the full zodiac is present in the Sohmas at present) so whenever someone realizes that, it'll be a big weight off the parents. Or Akito will twist that to his advantage. One never knows about him, eh? I'll look forward to your next installment! Keep writing!
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Reviewed By: whitchhunterR On: July 12, 2004 21:37 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
this is even better than any of them i have ever read i reall y like keep up the good work and dont let people tell you how to write your own story i think it's awesome the way it is keep it up and update quickly!! Sayuri Shitaka
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Reviewed By: ShiiChan921 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2004 13:51 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey!! i really really really love your story!!! its so good--i love Kyo Tohru pairings! i also really like the fact that you have little side stories, not just the main thing. i'm a little confused as to who Shigure is with, buti'm sure whoever it is will make him happy. Kyo's so cool in this fic too! he's the cool mr. protective and so sweet to Tohru! yay! kep up the good work, and good luck on your dentistry-i hate the dentist too! i hope everyone has a happy ending--do you really think Momiji has doctor potential? interesting...
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Reviewed By: Inubunny [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2004 06:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
another great chappy!! i can not wait for the next udpate!! it will surely b just as good as the last!! i love this story and hope u update soon!! and much love never forget the love!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: lil sesshomarus girl [MediaMiner Member] On: July 12, 2004 01:26 CDT
Comment/Review:
hey can't wait to finish this, I got to know what happend to poor akito (that little brat needed it)) GO HANA!!! like I said can't wait to finish this..
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Reviewed By: BuchouComplex On: July 11, 2004 22:09 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey, that was a cute chapter and i loved how protective of Tohru Kyo is. It was so cute!! I can't wait till the next chap update PLEASE update soon!!
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Title: mo5cook
Reviewed By: macbaby1 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2004 21:47 CDT
Comment/Review:
I love this! Oh Shigure has been a bad boy...I hope your wisdom tooth surgery goes well, and I am sure we will all be waiting (some not so patiently for your update). Take your time and get well!
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Reviewed By: Maria jose On: July 06, 2004 18:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg i found a furuba fic that didn't make me want to curse at my computer and the author ! Your fic is wonderful ^_^ please keep it going. I'm looking forward to more.
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Reviewed By: qwikitty [MediaMiner Member] On: July 04, 2004 01:54 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I really like your story so far. Are you sure this is your first fan fic? There are few errors that I can see. Except that there was never any discussion in the anime about Kyo being locked up after graduation. And I doubt that beating Yuki in a fight would have really made an actual difference in Kyo's standing with the Sohma's. I think that it was more of a symbolic and very personal Kyo thing. Also, in the end of the anime series you see a strange softening in Akito, so I'm hoping the ending is happy. Of course, this is your story and you do have a creative liscense to do whatever you feel is neccessary to carry this story along. Good luck!
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Reviewed By: macbaby1 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 01, 2004 23:47 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please update soon! I love this fic, and am dying to know what happens next. I love your fics!!!
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Title: inarifox
Reviewed By: inarifox [MediaMiner Member] On: June 29, 2004 10:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i love the story sofar and can't wait to see what happens to kyo and the baby. please don't let the head get them. i'd be so sad if he did.:( keep on writig and i'll keep reading.
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Reviewed By: Kiwibabii On: June 22, 2004 21:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Out of all of the Fruits fan fics--urs is the best!! i'm gunna take a page out of everyone else's book, and i'm gunna say--POST MORE!!! its too good!! i have to know what happens!! hehe...nice job!
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Title: Fannnntastic!
Reviewed By: Runic [MediaMiner Member] On: June 21, 2004 14:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Whoohoo! This story has been an utterly fun read! Wai, Tohru and Kyou are so cute together, and I'm really glad that Kyou asked to marry her before the reveal of the baby. Aww! Please write more soon!
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Reviewed By: Inubunny [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2004 07:36 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
love the story!! tohru is finally told kyo and they r gettin marryied!! i can not wait for the wedding!!! now what about akito!! plz update soo i can find out about akito!!!!! much love never forget the love!! like tohru and kyo will never forget the love!!!!!!!!!!! update plz!!!!!!!!
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| Pages (6): [ « < 1 2 3 4 5 6 > » ] |
