| "Shogo" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] |
Reviewed By: anonomous tenshi On: June 03, 2005 15:49 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have read all of your other review's and I just thought it would be nice to have a really pleasebt long review so here goes. I really like how you made amy shy but not exactly timid. I also like the way that bakura's personality it, because in some fan fics I have read the is made out to be a very timid boy. I also realy like the way yami bakura comes in and I really want to find out what amy's reaction will be. I think it would be a...different twist if she was to spin around(and that would obviously stir some things in Yami Bakura if you get what I mean)then she immedietly notices the difference in Bakura. She gasps and he presses her to the couch ,sort of traping her and she won't be able to move at all, but that dosn't mean she won't try i don't think. Another option would be she it a little bit frightened at first untill he starts kissing her neck or something and she can't resist but to tilt her head giving him acess. Him being a Yami will probobly just smirk and move ahead, then the other bakura can come back in his mind trying to stop him and well Yami is 'torturing' our poor little Amy, bakura and Yami Bakura are arguing untill Yami Bakura lets bakura feel whats happening. I mean like the feeling of having her in his arms, her body against his, hearing her heavy breathing, or her slight whimpers or something along those lines. Well those are just some ideas but it is your story and not mine. So I will leave you in peace and stop typing. I wish you the best of luck
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Title: O.O
Reviewed By: Mesa Juu-Chan [MediaMiner Member] On: July 26, 2004 18:23 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Interesting so far but i beleive you need more description. As like when did Y. B. take over and move behind her...you skip too much either way i want you to conitnue.
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Reviewed By: IceYoukaiEnchantress [MediaMiner Member] On: March 26, 2004 18:27 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like it so far so PLEASE UPDATE!! I hate cliffies! Ja ne ^_^!!!!
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Reviewed By: Sahpire'sOne On: March 26, 2004 13:54 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a really original idea and I like it! It's interesting so far... I'm looking forward to seeing how this progresses.
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Title: GemJewel
Reviewed By: GemJewel [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2004 00:31 CST
Comment/Review:
great so far. i want to know what happens so plz continue it.
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Reviewed By: Kris1rad [MediaMiner Member] On: February 21, 2004 14:58 CST
Rating(s):Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Comment/Review:
Okay, this story is good and all but did you have to make it a cliff-hanger?! I hate cliff-hangers!!! Update soon or there will be a lot of trouble!!!!
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