| "Grasping For Control" Reviews/Comments [ 3 ] |
Reviewed By: Fanilia [MediaMiner Member] On: March 08, 2004 18:44 CST
Comment/Review:
The plot is good, I cant connect with the characters even with my limited viewing of the show. (due to the fact I don't get the channel) What I am seeing though is a lot of one sentence paragraphs and incomplete sentences. Two characters do no speak in the same paragraph. And your tence changed several times. With the plot as good as it is and your descriptions very good (use them more) I think you need a good beta reader for the grammer and you will have a winner. If you ever read any of my unbated work you would gage. Keep it up and let me know when chapter two is done.~Fan
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Title: Chapter 1
Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: March 08, 2004 01:04 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Holly mother of all things that are right with world this chapter rocked! And now that I am done sounding like a one line spouting fangirl let me give you the better review. The writing was very good and you have a good sense of the relationships between the characters. However, and I say this respectfully, the chapter could use a touch more detail but that's just me seeing as I love putting in detail. Also, there was a point where all of a sudden everything went bold until the end of the fic for some odd reason. I like having the back and forth between Angel and Spike in there. Reminded me of the better seasons on Buffy. And that Donnovan reminds me of the little girl in Interview With a Vampire. You don't have to look old to be old. And your use of the clifhanger is at an appropriate place. It leaves the reader wanting more. They want to know what will be happening next. A good job there. Keep up the good work. I just know your writing will only keep on getting better and better.
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Reviewed By: Digifan3:16 On: March 08, 2004 00:29 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like what I've read so far. Keep up the good work.
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