| "Finally" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] |
Title: Oosha
Reviewed By: OoshatiElf On: September 22, 2004 18:11 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 3 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
I have to say that it was much too rushed. You had potentail, but the plot moved much, much too quickly. Some of it did not make sense at all, If Yuki-san is shy about sex then how the tayhoe did he do all that?! It has some good elements, but not enought to make it a wonderful literary piece. I know this may sound harsh, but some tweaking and this could be a beyond awesome story. ~Zufluchtsort~
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Reviewed By: DeathGoddess [MediaMiner Member] On: June 24, 2004 13:29 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I loved your story. It was cute. Rock On!!!! A.B.C(Always be cool)^_~*
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Reviewed By: UsAgI-ChAN89 [MediaMiner Member] On: March 31, 2004 16:44 CST
Comment/Review:
AHH KAWAIII!!!!!!!!! YEY!!! ^_____^ -Usagi-chan^_^
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Reviewed By: wizzywig On: March 28, 2004 00:23 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 4 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 4 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 5 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hm. Nice PWP overall, but it could use a little more length. It rushes through the lemony bits rather fast, and unfortunately that means the details suffer. For one, if Yukito is supposed to be 'shy' about sex, how the heck did they wind up going at it so quick? And who exactly was Sakura talking to downstairs? Li? That wasn't particularly clear either. On a more positive note, you did have some particularly priceless descriptions in there. Yue dragging Touya back down to the floor sticks out particularly in my mind. Flesh out the descriptions and story part of it, and you might have something really steamy going on.
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Reviewed By: sapphire1 On: March 19, 2004 12:46 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i loved it - touya yue and yuki dream
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