Reviewed By: ObscureAnimeWriter [MediaMiner Member] On: March 24, 2006 16:50 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 2 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 1 of 10
Overall Rating: 1 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sweetie, I tell you this for your own good...USE PERIODS WHEN YOU WRITE. If you don't, your writing will be a single long sentence with no pauses, which is confusing for a reader. Also, switch paragraphs whenever another character speaks, don't run dialogue together in a single paragraph (I know there wasn't much dialogue, but the little bit you did have was bunched together). Don't think of this as a flame (because it's not), this is constructive criticism that I hope will help you write better fanfiction in the future. You can do it, I have faith in you, but you need to fix some of your mistakes first. Good luck, .:ObscureAnimeWriter:. -- Every nerd has his day. With Inoue Orihime, Ishida Uryuu will have an entire afterlife.
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