Title: Wow! It's long!!
Reviewed By: AmyAnderson45 (Back to haunt the living) On: May 12, 2004 00:10 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hello there! Whoa...your chapters are extremely long...well not that long, but those paragraphs sure made it seem that way. It would be wonderful if you could only break up the paragraphs and that dialogue as well, since I have a tendency to lose my place when scrolling down. You have a good introduction, described some scenery and such, and even a cliffhanger at the end. Talk about letting your reader hang for the moment! The only thing that slightly bothers me was the P.O.V (point of view). Do you really need to write it out for us...since you mentioned their names (characters such as Be'lal, Hiei, and Cloud...I believe) and their view point of what their seeing, like the portal and all? Overall, it's not that bad really and I wish you the best of luck!
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