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| "Tom`s Classic Shorties" Reviews/Comments [ 20 ] | | Pages (2): [ « < 1 2 ] | Title: thank u
Reviewed By: Tom RO 91 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 22, 2004 09:32 CDT
Comment/Review:
MORE REVIEWS YYYYAAAYYYY!!!!!
| Title: hmmm...yello(hello) XD ^_^
Reviewed By: sephlier [MediaMiner Member] On: April 21, 2004 21:07 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Leave it to the chocobo *heh-heh* This sounds silly, but that's actually cute! Not that it matters but I have been hit with a stroke of difficulty, so my reading/reviewing time is not as frequent as it was...hopefully this will change...Now on with the reasons for ratings *ahem*: I'm going to go easy on the spelling. There are a few mistakes but nothing that would seem to be random letters thrown in for the sake of trying to make a word. Your dialogue is getting longer (I read into one of your recent reviews) and I really did enjoy the short training session with Tian (I like that name...I hate Dragonball but I love the character that has a similar name). Your most recent chapter has indeed shown signs of you slowing down a bit. That's good. I need to go back and try to get a better understanding of Fiona (I've been away so details about her in my memory are extremely sketchy). I do like her words concerning the date. I won't go back into the detail "musings" of earlier reviews...although my thoughts on that topic are unchanged. It's never too late *laughs* REPENT, REPENT *tee-hee* You ARE getting stronger with your writing!!! I notice that your updates are slowing down as well. I probably sound like the world's biggest wench right now but I feel these changes are and have been for the better. I've noticed you have gone back through some of your other stories too. My random leave from this place was a "real life issue" and had nothing to do with a loss of interest in any of your works, just so you know. See, you still have viewers ^_^
| Title: omg!!!!!!!!!!
Reviewed By: Tom RO 91 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 18, 2004 08:36 CDT
Comment/Review:
i am ticked!whenever i get a review...i have to make a new one to see the new ones.
| Title: Confused, Confused...well not really.
Reviewed By: Amy (Back from hectic College life) [MediaMiner Member] On: April 17, 2004 19:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hi, my name is Amy! How are you? Haven't seen you around, so you must be new here...I'm guessing. Anyway, your chapters aren't so bad really and neither is the plot. However, that dialogue is lacking a bit. You might consider breaking it up a little or spacing them out so it's not so confusing. Another thing I noticed is that a majority of your sentences are quite short. They end so quickly that it makes it seem like the fanfiction itself is going at a rapid pace. Try adding a few more descriptions to your sentences to create more realism. It seems that your doing pretty well so far, since you've got like eleven reviews already. Just don't let it get to your head though. You shouldn't be writing just for reviews. I would hope that you're writing because you enjoy writing or because you need constructive criticism from others. Reviews aren't everything, but I wish you the best of luck Sir Tom RO 91!
| Title: Special Edition
Reviewed By: Tom RO 91 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 16, 2004 14:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
i just wanna let you guys know that I made a special edition to my story.
| Reviewed By: inumoon3 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 15, 2004 20:10 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I agree w/ Chibi Sephy why did you make Sephiroth have a kid? But anyway I like your story but it needs so much more detail, but hey I could live w/o it. So just update faster or else I won't update my Kingdom Heart fic! *Sticks out tongue*
| Title: I luve this
Reviewed By: Tom RO 91 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2004 18:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
ok this is annoying.the only way i can can view new reviews is 2 make my own!
| Title: Another Review
Reviewed By: Chibi Sephy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2004 18:00 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
So sorry about my last review! XD I completely forgot about it cutting off with that one smiley... *sighs* Anyway, like Sephleir, I noticed that your chapters are getting a bit short, like you're rushing things. T_T;; I still like this fic and everything, but I would recommend using at least one thousand words per chapters. It makes it seem more like a novel. I dislike gigantic chapters, yet I don't like really short ones. We won't forget you if we must wait a week for a new chapter! Believe me! This story is on my favorites, and you\'re on my favorite authors list. So everytime you update, I see right off. If it's for a better chapter than what we will get otherwise, then I, and others I'm sure, will appreciate it. I'm not bashing you though. Back in my earlier days of fanfiction, on FF.net, I had three fanfictions running, and I was updating one day each day. When I was finished and looked back at them, I realized that I hated them. I adored the storyline that I started with; but I hated the fic that I ended up with. Now, with my fanfiction I'm writing now, I'm taking my time. I know my fanfictions are still far from perfect, but it's much better than my previous works. It'll wear you down if you update too fast also. ;D I got writer's block for a long time afterwards... X_x Anyway, in words of praise, I like Zack. ^_^ *Grins cheesily*
| Title: thank u
Reviewed By: Tom RO 91 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 13, 2004 14:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Thankyou people the reviews.I came up with this story like a year ago.I`m waiting to finish this one to make many more stories.
| Title: Yer Moving Way Too Fast!!!
Reviewed By: *Arrrgh, Again With The Not Logged In* sephlier [MediaMiner Member] On: April 12, 2004 19:04 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Okay, here's what's going on, now. I am seeing, a change in the story. You have sped it up so it's moving way too fast!!! People are popping up all over and all that's mentioned is their name. I read, somewhere, that you want to make it longer. You probably noticed that I am a detail addict when it comes to writing (stories, reviews, etc). I honestly feel it is necessary to give a visual *maybe, that's not the right word* description. It's no good imagining stick figures. Give them hair, make them overweight or underweight, give one of them a limp, a bad attitude, acne or dimples, make one tall or make one out to be an elf *maybe, I didn't need to say all this* Don't be afraid to describe your characters, especially your original ones!!!! I like the fact that the scion of Cloud and Aeris is named Zack. I find this both extremely touching and disheartening. It says to me that both, mother and father/husband and wife, wanted to honor the memory of the spiky black haired SOLDIER and, also, in a way, found themselves not able to let go of his memory (I would say this would be more on Cloud's part than anything else)...there is a quote in Final Fantasy: Advent Children (available on DVD in Japan) where Cloud walks along the outskirts (almost beaches)of the ruins of Midgar and shoves the buster sword into the dirt. He begins to have thoughts about Zack and the experiences they shared and how it might have been if he survived. Aeris, in the game, had obviously moved on...I digress... Don't "trust" "he used to be a Turk" as a phrase that will/should serve as both an introduction and a background history (might I also add, especially when it comes to an original character...it's not safe to assume that the reader knows automatically who you're talking about). Make this new addition to the Final Fantasy realm someone you can instantly fall in love with, hate, tolerate or feel indifferent about. Honestly, im meiner opinion, that's all you need to give them life and make them believable!!! Your stories are NOT bad!!! All you need is to slow it down and give some kind of detail. My next issue, besides the speed of your story, is the speed of your updates. Don't be afraid to let your story fall back a couple levels on mediaminer. You WILL still get views/reads!!! Just because you don't appear on the front or at the top of the updated/new stories doesn't mean you are forgotten!!! A friend of mine read your story and let me know what he thought might help you. He said that you should "put it aside for a couple of days then reread it." Than you might see things that you might not have noticed when you first wrote it. As stated earlier, this is not a BAD fic. All I am putting forth is my own opinion. I am not flaming you (hopefully, you see this in my ratings for you). You, as the author, can do what you want with this story. ChibiSephy *don't mean to put her on the spot* has offered some excellent insight too in her reviews. I have yahoo for IM purposes. I will try and add you as a friend/buddy if you use that form of instant messaging (I need to change my IM screen name in my bio for yahoo...it is actually: tschi_uwe. I only use sephlier when I am checking email.) You, despite the length of it, had a strong first chapter!!! With a few revisions (detail, pace,etc.) this has the potential to become an excellent fanfiction!!! It doesn't matter how old/young you are!!! One of the secrets to my stories (besides the fact that I haven't had an English course in close to ten years >< *boog*) is that (this may sound girlish/girly) I listen to alot of music (in many different languages, genres and from many different countries) to help me establish the mood in the story or how much I wish to tell my reader and at what time. This might help you or might not...just felt like offering. You ARE getting stronger in your writing. *sorry for making this so long* ~sephlier
| Title: Thankyou,Peoples!!!!
Reviewed By: Tom RO 91 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 11, 2004 15:20 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I would just love to thankyou for the good reviews.I haven`t got a stat under 6 yet!That makes me feel AWSM!
| Title: hello
Reviewed By: Tom RO 91 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2004 11:35 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
chez!
| Title: Second Review
Reviewed By: Chibi Sephy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2004 11:25 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
>_
| Title: First Review
Reviewed By: Chibi Sephy [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2004 08:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Pretty good start. ^_- But why did you make Sephy-kun have a kid?! *sniff* And how is Aeris alive again? o_O;;
| Title: Hmmm...It says I'm logged in ^_^
Reviewed By: sephlier [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2004 08:28 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
While I am not a fan of Aeris and Cloud together in matrimony,(Cloud is fine on his own...but I can't deny that he did love her) you caught my attention. There are some grammar and spelling errors...and the Seph junior thing kind of got to me (but that's just me). Overall, it sounds like an interesting story. You have put some focus on each character and given a little background information on each of them. Keep up the good work!!! Yes, I have added you to my favorite author and story list. I really would love to find out where you take this story!!!
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