| "Doctor, Doctor, I'm Love Sick for You" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] |
Reviewed By: dudekiller [MediaMiner Member] On: March 21, 2006 07:42 CST
Comment/Review:
this is an interesting story so far. please update soon.
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Reviewed By: InuyashaThinksImSexii [MediaMiner Member] On: November 26, 2005 14:47 CST
Comment/Review:
Very nice, you should continue it. n.n
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Reviewed By: shiori_tora [MediaMiner Member] On: August 12, 2004 16:17 CDT
Comment/Review:
You have an interesting, if stock premise here. Nothing written so far is compelling to this reader. There are several errors in your technique. An abundance of contractions in the narrative, which indicates a laziness on your part as the writer. There is a tendency towards archaic and wordy expressions. I would recommend becoming familiar with homonyms. This is evidenced in the comment: "I'm Inuyasha, buy the way." It should be "by the way." Capitalization errors caused by, I'm assuming, an unfamiliarity with what to do when you place punctuation within the quotation. Thankfully you only used one overused cliché "needless to say" The date at the end of the chapter seems rushed and as if added as an afterthought to leave you an opening to write a lemon in the future. The chemistry between Inuyasha and Kagome is almost nonexistent and seems forced again to fit your future plans. Overall this is a highly over romanticized view of attraction and a weak attempt at writing a story showing love-at-first-sight. My advice would be to writhing what you are familiar or failing that to read books on improving your story crafting ability.
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Reviewed By: milady On: June 05, 2004 05:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
this was cute and I hope you update soon
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Title: FYI
Reviewed By: ILoveSesshomaru [MediaMiner Member] On: May 25, 2004 20:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
Dear person, Yes I know my summary sucks. I couldn't think of anything else to put so I made a listing of the pairings. I plan to change the summary as i get further along in the story. Thank you for the review. Kilala
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Reviewed By: Anubis_Himura [MediaMiner Member] On: May 06, 2004 18:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
woo hoo! This story is fun to read and really engaging! I love your supporting details too! Great so far, I look forward to more!
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Reviewed By: jynnantonnix [MediaMiner Member] On: May 06, 2004 09:28 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
So... when do you plan on updating, then? This story is really good so far!
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Reviewed By: me On: May 06, 2004 06:28 CDT
Comment/Review:
Pefetic, plainy pefetic i'm almost crying at it
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Reviewed By: Niffy [MediaMiner Member] On: May 02, 2004 13:37 CDT
Comment/Review:
Cute. I liked the story. Please update soon.
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Reviewed By: Kagomeangel1313 On: April 26, 2004 21:44 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Please continue soon
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Reviewed By: YasashiiAme [MediaMiner Member] On: April 26, 2004 02:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Wow, heh. Good chapter. I hope you continue and keep up the good work. Good luck and best wishes :)
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Reviewed By: hanamaru285 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 26, 2004 01:53 CDT
Comment/Review:
kewl story! hope you contineu soon
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