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| "a lonely feeling" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] | Reviewed By: Chief_Resident_Yuki [MediaMiner Member] On: October 16, 2007 07:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 5 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 3 of 10
Overall Rating: 3 of 10 Comment/Review:
I'm not a fan of this pairing to begin with, but I had decided to give your fic a try. I'm not sorry to say I'm disappointed. First off, one thing that was quite bothersome was the fact that you didn't properly separate paragraphs, which made keeping my place in the story very difficult. Also, the basic story plot was...less than pleasing. I understand it's a one shot and there cannot be a substantial amount of plot, but your story moved way too fast, and it sounded like a bad teen movie where the girl is all "omg I love you" and the guy replies "I love you too, let's go have sex now". You could've worked a bit more plot in if you'd tried, and also you could have drawn out the story a tad just to give it a bit more of a reasonable progression. And you said in your summary that you don't want negative comments. Part of the trial of being a writer is getting negative feedback, and when you post your work online, there will be people like myself who will actually critique your work, and not simply say "lyke omg, I luv this story! write more! wow, ur so good!" and other worthless drivel such as that. And I may not have any stories on this site at the moment, but I write on several other sites and I have been for many years now, so I do know what I'm talking about.
| Title: Ugh, Diiiizzy... @.@
Reviewed By: xXDarkLightXx [MediaMiner Member] On: December 12, 2005 21:51 CST
Comment/Review:
I'm not a yami/tea fan, I'm the exact opposite, but I checked this out. I got too dizzy, I had to stop reading it cause it's just one HUGE paragraph! I think it was good... I couldn't tell... I'M NOT TRYING TO FLAME! MAY THE DAY I FLAME MAY THAT BE THE DAY I DIE AND GO TO HELL! This isn't a flame, but if it looks like it, I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry!
| Reviewed By: sibs On: September 21, 2005 22:21 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love the Anzu/Yami pairing! Write more!
| Reviewed By: SummersDeath [MediaMiner Member] On: August 17, 2004 03:26 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well...there were a few things that irked me. First off, whenever someone speaks, you don't always have to say "said [insert name here]" afterwards because the reader will most likely know who's speaking and otherwise it's just quite a bit annoying. Second, most of it is just one big paragraph. And third...it's more dirty than anything else...no romance to it, really. With all that said, I still thought it was okay and the Yami/Anzu pairing is pretty cute.
| Reviewed By: Kage Tsuki [MediaMiner Member] On: June 16, 2004 21:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
Yeah, I'm not really into A/Yami much either, but you did nicely, considering all the negativity....but one thing... next time you write a fic and post it, could you not make it one *humongous* paragraph? o.O;; that's what taxed me the most. later days, and good job! ^^
| Reviewed By: Yami'sLover(dragonrider00 just not signed in at the moment) On: April 28, 2004 21:30 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
That wasnt to bad. i am not into much anzu stuff but u made this story very well and i am proud to say that u are a really good writer! ^^
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