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| "If you Still believe" Reviews/Comments [ 2 ] | Title: To Start (too late, already have)
Reviewed By: sephlier [MediaMiner Member] On: May 01, 2004 20:53 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 8 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 5 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hi! I'm sorry if this review is unexpected but there are a couple things I would like to point out. This chapter has a lot of spelling mistakes. I've come across spelling issues before with an XP spell check (it's amazing how many words in the English language that one would expect to be spelled with different lettering...*remembers words considered "old English"*) Some of your spelling problems might not have registered is all. Your story seems to be more dialogue also with a few stage directions. Your parenthesis aren't needed. There is another way you can write the changes in time frame without using them. Some of your other puncuation is off as well. It's not a bad story to start there are just a couple things that you may want to look into. This is one of the few crossover stories that I have taken the time to read. Usually, cross-over fanfictions don't hold my interest. If you have any questions my contact information is in my bio. As stated in my previous comment, this is not meant as a flame. You follow whatever path you like with your writing. Good luck with any writing ventures and please keep this story going! ~sephlier
| Title: no ratings just curious
Reviewed By: sephlier(of course no time to log in) On: May 01, 2004 19:34 CDT
Comment/Review:
So, would this be a sonfic concerning the Elsa Raven (English) translation of "If You Still Believe" the opening of Legends of Dragoon. Not to sound harsh but sometimes it is best to assume that only a small fraction of your readers actually know Japanese or have come across the game or song itself. I have not heard the Japanese version, I'm sure it's beautiful. English translations don't hurt. Credit to the writer of the song or the person/people that sang it could help to. For lyrics, in some cases search engines turn up everything from entries in a person's livejournal that have "if you still believe" (ex: "So Mike, if you still believe that I love you buy me a dog already!") written as a phrase to the actual lyrics themselves. Sorry, as with a few other fics I am trying my best to read this one. Please don't treat this as a flame. It's not it's just something that I noticed as soon as I clicked on the story link. ~sephlier
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