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| "A Future Within A Past" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: Drachegirl14 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 31, 2006 11:56 CST
Comment/Review:
*blinks* Wow. That was . . . . short . . . . and fluffy . . . . Not that fluff is a bad thing!
| Reviewed By: Rainstorm61879 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 16, 2005 16:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
Is this supposed to be a prelude to tell me it doesn't hurt? whatever this one just kinda...ummm. jumped to much. Sorry not exactly a great review but I prefer to be honest.
| Title: It's quite alright...I mean this is just your first fanfiction.
Reviewed By: AmyAnderson45 (That's okay) On: May 12, 2004 15:24 CDT
Comment/Review:
It's understandable, Chocobo Of Faded Memories, I'm glad that I could be of service and help you out. This is after all, your first fanfiction and not everything is going to perfect...even my fanfiction is nothing near to perfection, since there's no such thing. Anyway, I hope you'll be able to continue this soon, because it really is a good story:-)
| Reviewed By: Chocobo Of Faded Memories [MediaMiner Member] On: May 10, 2004 16:04 CDT
Comment/Review:
hey, AmyAnderson45, what i meant was /.../ was sin saying something toi yuffie. was yuffie responding. im sorry if this didnt make any sense. this is my first fic and i dont know all the grammar and my wordpad doesn't have spell check. and im not sure how to change the chapters (and im not sure if im supposed to be doing this) and im terribly sorry. thank you for ur honesty, though. next time i will make it like sin speaking to yuffie in quotations just like normal except no one can hear them. i dont think im making much sense to MYSELF right now...^__^;; sides, im stuck in iming mode...
| Title: Very good prologue...but confusing right after that.
Reviewed By: AmyAnderson45 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 08, 2004 01:39 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 6 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
The prologue was very sad, I felt very sorry for Yuffie...I think you spelled "ninga" to "ninja" wrong though, but that's okay. After that these symbols became very confusing. I had to keep scrolling up to understand what the heck was going on. For example, /.../ Sin to Yuffie/, Yuffie to Sin, //...// Chaos to Vincent, Vincent to Chaos. I had to copy and paste these, because I wasn't too sure about what they meant. I highly suggest you find another way to express Sin to Yuffie, Yuffie to Sin (is this one really necessary?), and Chaos to Vincent, instead of Vincent to Chaos. If Sin is talking to Yuffie, then Sin is Sin, and Yuffie is Yuffie...I really don't think you need a different symbol for Yuffie to Sin, because Sin is already talking to Yuffie...see how really confusing this gets. Especially, Chaos to Vincent, you shouldn't have to create a new symbol for Vincent to Chaos, since Vincent is going to be talking to Chaos, due to the fact that Chaos is speaking to him in the first place. Okay, now you're probably more befuddled than I am…at this very moment. Please, fix this in another form…symbols sooner or later get very perplexing, not only for you, but your readers as well. I don't want to decipher what's going on or keep scrolling up and then losing my place just to find out what something means…this story shouldn't be like finding words in a dictionary. It should be clear, simple, and to the point…well not always simple, it can be complex to. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck!
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