| "Kakashi's Sedentary Adventures" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] |
Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: Chibi Halo [MediaMiner Member] On: April 04, 2005 16:49 CDT
Comment/Review:
An interesting concept to the fic. However, I will say this your story needs a little work. You have things in chunks. Your dialouge needs to be seperate paragraphs to make it easier to read. Each chapter read as though they were seperate little snippets of stuff with no real overall plot to tie them together. Other than the need to read Makeout Paradise there's nothing holding the chapters together. You need an overall plot for the story or else it will continue to read like a series of snippets. Also, while touching on the characters fairly well I noticed the need to have Kakashi have a computer. Is it known if they have computer's in Naruto? And would Kakashi be interested in l33t? Is that actually keeping with the character of Kakashi? Having someone who really knows Naruto look over the fic could help. Other than that I feel you do have a good grasp on the comedy in the series. It's a good start but with a good once over from a person who really knows the series it could be even better.
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Reviewed By: cdkobasiuk [MediaMiner Member] On: July 06, 2004 21:00 CDT
Comment/Review:
That was lots of fun. I thought it was very creative how you had Kakashi keep the brats busy and out of his hair in both chapters. Good writting. cdk
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Reviewed By: May-VeggieGirl1 (heh, too lazy to login) On: July 05, 2004 13:57 CDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Yay for update-no-jutsu! ^_^ Yeah, you're really good at capturing Kakashi's character! I really hope you update again! ^_~ I'll look forward to it!
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Reviewed By: May-VeggieGirl1 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 06, 2004 16:40 CDT
Comment/Review:
So typical, he lead them in completly different directions. So I'll use reviewing-no-jutsu to tell you how I feel about the fic! ^_~ It was certainly funny, but I wish there was more...*cough-use update-no-jutsu-cough* Yeah, I'm somewhat of a new fan also, so yay newbies!
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Title: Funny-chi!
Reviewed By: QLSOTCR On: May 14, 2004 20:32 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hihi! I'm a really harsh rater, by the way, so don't take offense. Instead, be happy! In reading your fic, I found that the little 'do-things-no-jintsu' were really funny! I especially liked the HiddenKakashi-no-jutsu.... funny....;0 Keep up the good work, chi!
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Reviewed By: darkestrose [MediaMiner Member] On: May 14, 2004 19:13 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
lmfao! that was so funny! ^___^ Make-out paradise 4! Lol-they should really make that. ^-^
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